Anger management tips: 10 ways to tame your temper

[debashish]

10 tips to help get your anger under control

1. Take a 'timeout.' Although it may seem cliche, counting to 10 before reacting really can defuse your temper.

2. Get some space. Take a break from the person you're angry with until your frustrations subside a bit.

3. Once you're calm, express your anger. It's healthy to express your frustration in a nonconfrontational way. Stewing about it can make the situation
worse.

4. Get some exercise. Physical activity can provide an outlet for your emotions, especially if you're about to erupt. Go for a brisk walk or a run, swim, lift
weights or shoot baskets.

5. Think carefully before you say anything. Otherwise, you're likely to say something you'll regret. It can be helpful to write down what you want to say
so that you can stick to the issues. When you're angry, it's easy to get sidetracked.

6. Identify solutions to the situation. Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work with the person who angered you to resolve the issue at hand.

7. Use 'I' statements when describing the problem. This will help you to avoid criticizing or placing blame, which can make the other person angry or
resentful — and increase tension. For instance, say, "I'm upset you didn't help with the housework this evening," instead of, "You should have helped
with the housework."

8. Don't hold a grudge. If you can forgive the other person, it will help you both. It's unrealistic to expect everyone to behave exactly as you want.

9. Use humor to release tensions. Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Don't use sarcasm, though — it's can hurt feelings and make things worse.

10. Practice relaxation skills. Learning skills to relax and de-stress can also help control your temper when it may flare up. Practice deep-breathing exercises, visualize a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase to yourself, such as "Take it easy." Other proven ways to ease anger include listening to music, writing in a journal and doing yoga.

[debashish]

Anger involves a few different components:

* Your emotions. This component of anger involves feelings such as sadness, disappointment or frustration.

* Your body. Anger can cause physical signs and symptoms, such as muscle tension, increased heart rate and increased blood pressure as your body releases adrenaline — the fight-or-flight hormone.

* Your thinking. How you think can cause or worsen anger, or it can help you cope with it in a healthy way. For example, your anger may be fueled by thoughts that the world is out to get you, or that your partner "never" does what you ask. A healthy response is to acknowledge that it's OK to be frustrated, and look for solutions instead of focusing only on what's wrong.

[debashish]

What causes people to become angry?

People today are faced with multiple stressors — bills, drugs, peer pressure, racial conflicts, health care issues, war. There's a lot of stress in society in general and in our personal lives as well. There are so many things to feel threatened about, and some people respond in a negative way.

Most people don't just walk around feeling mad all the time. When someone explodes with anger, there are actually a lot of feelings behind that prior to reaching the boiling point. There's usually a triggering event — something in particular that sets you off, such as a disagreement at work, being stuck in traffic or not being able to get through to an actual person on the phone.

Your personal history feeds your reactions to anger. That's why some people react so angrily to certain situations, like losing a parking space, while others take it in stride. You may have built up years of feeling unheard, ignored, sad, frustrated or disrespected. Also, if you were taught that being angry is a negative thing, you may never have learned how to express anger appropriately — so your frustrations simmer and make you miserable, or build up until you explode into an angry outburst.

[debashish]

What are common methods of handling anger, and which is the healthiest?

There are two basic reactions to anger:

Expression. This is the act of conveying your anger. Expression occurs along a continuum, from having a reasonable, rational discussion to erupting into out-of-control violence. It's the difference between talking to someone calmly and physically assaulting them.

Suppression. This is an attempt to hold in or ignore your anger. You may think you shouldn't be angry or that you'll lose control if you let yourself feel any anger. The danger in this passive approach is that you may not protect yourself when the need arises. You may also become passive-aggressive, where you don't express your anger assertively or directly but scheme to retaliate because you haven't learned how to express anger constructively.

[ashik]

nice post........