1. Keep your promises. You know how politicians are viewed as promise-breakers? Good. You also know how people hate politicians? Well, there you have it. Break your promises and you lose respect. Point blank. You can fit the suit, you can have all the charisma, and you can have the knowledge, but if you don't deliver on what you promised to deliver, the people will have you silver platter.
An integral part of keeping promises is knowing what's doable and what's not. If you can define between the two, the only other obstacle is being honest. Practice this with your kids, practice this with your teammates, and practice this at every opportunity. Developing a strong moral code removes room for those questioning your ability to lead and hold power.
2. Dress the part. If you walk into an office in a suit and tie, constantly glancing at your watch, people are going to assume you're waiting for some schmuck who's late for a business meeting. Walk into an office in a t-shirt and baseball cap and people will start wanting to know where their pizza is. If you want to lead, you gotta look the part.
There needs to be a distinction here between dressing to impress and dressing to influence. You don't necessarily want to dress to impress -- impressing may not be appropriate for the scenario you're in (if you are delivering pizzas, don't wear a suit, for example). You simply want to influence people's perceptions of you. What image do you want to give off? You can largely control what they perceive of you and your attitude by what you wear (sad, but true).
3. Treat your team well. Alright, so you know to care about your team, but you gotta follow it up with your actions. If you preach to your team to be cohesive, act like they're having fun, and be friendly with your clients but turn around and yell at them every 5 minutes when they crack a smile, you're not living out your message. Set forth a good, caring example, and they'll fall in line.
The old adage, "Do as I say, not as I do" is crap. It might have worked on you when you were 6 years old, but it will not work on a team of adults. They might not let you know explicitly, but they will be unhappy, eventually leave, and this will cut into your product. It may not have immediate repercussions, but eventually any hypocrisy on your part will catch up with you.
4. Show your commitment to your team's betterment. For your organization to grow, everyone has to get better. This has nothing to do with just you being great -- you have to make your team great. Ideally, the task will done and the team will say, "We did it!", not you exclaiming, "I did it!" It's about the whole of the group, not the one.
To grow your team, you have to pay attention to them. Forcing numbers and leaving them to figure out roles won't do them justice. Get to know them on an individual level and commit to them becoming more resourceful members of your group (what role do they fit best in? What resources could they use). Help them learn, help them grow, and help them take the reins when you need back up.
5. Ask questions. As a leader, you're sort of untouchable. People may not come to you because you're the big man of the organization. They don't want to pipe up and cause a raucous. Know that you're dealing with a constant level of perceived intimidation that you need to break down. How do you do this? Ask questions first!
Don't wait for feedback from your team -- they may never offer it. After all, you're the one dictating how things are going; they may not think their opinion matters. Ask them how you're doing, how they're doing, and what they see to make the whole process better. Just because they're not leading doesn't mean they're not full of great ideas!
