Author Topic: Talk to Parents in a Way So They'll Understand  (Read 829 times)

Offline Shamim Ansary

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Talk to Parents in a Way So They'll Understand
« on: June 20, 2010, 03:42:34 PM »
1. Find a time to talk when your parent is not doing something else, like dishes, putting other kids to bed etc. Otherwise, their mind may be elsewhere and they probably will get irritated.

2. Say, "Mom, I want to talk to you about something." without hesitating.(They are terrified that you won't talk to them, so they'll jump at the chance.)

3. They will so go for it!!!!!Say what you want to say as briefly and as calmly as possible. "You told me that I can't go out this weekend." This statement should explain what you want and when you want it- very crucial! You could also try saying "I know you'll probably say no, but I was wondering if.." and state your question, some parents get caught on the fact you are respecting their rules and beliefs but wish to inquire about a change.

4. State what you want. "I want to know why I can't go out. I don't understand why you said I can't." Keep your voice steady, not raised or excited. Maybe they don't understand why this is important to you.

5. Avoid complaining or whining. You hate hearing it; so do they.

6. Keep the focus on what you want and what you feel, and be honest. "Mom, I feel really sad that you don't trust me and I want to know what to do to make you trust me" works a million times better than "You never let me do what I want!" Be careful not to go overboard- being too smarmy will result in a quick "No!"

7. Be respectful. Even if they annoy you, they are your parents. And they'll respect you if you respect them.

Tips

>> Avoid statements that include the phrases "You never" and "You always ..." It just takes the focus off the main point.

>> If you want to be heard, you also have to listen. Don't run off in a huff at the first opportunity; stick it out.
Sugar is better than salt. You can't force a parent to give you what you want. Yelling doesn't make people want to change their mind.
>> Never say " I don't love you anymore! " or " I hate you! "- your parents can have their feelings hurt just like you. >> Avoid saying these also because your parents usually don't pay any attention to you when you say these. So it's pointless.
 
>> Provide a list of reasons to support your argument. Parents sometimes listen to reason if they know you've thought out and prepared your arguments. Sometimes, it even gains their respect. Also keep your communicating lines open.

>> Be prepared to accept a yes or a no for an answer. Even after you've explain your reasoning and listened to theirs, sometimes parents can be dead-set on something you don't want.

Warnings

= You should try to improve your relationship with your parents. Talking about different things help!
= Avoid whining.
= Realize sometimes parents just don't understand.
= Always look your parents in the eye. This will let them know that you mean business.
= Avoid yelling because it will make them mad.

originated by: Anonymous, Tom Viren, Jack Herrick, Hannah
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