thinking oneself big

[shibli]

The person who thinks oneself big or great is not great at all, people have to speak about that. "Aponake je boro bole boro shey noy, loke jaake boro bole boro shey hoy"

[Shamim Ansary]

''The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven..." John Milton, English Poet

[shibli]

What is Professional Jealousy?

Professional jealousy is really envy--something wonderful happens to someone else and you wish it had happened to you. If you want to be Biblical, you are wanting your neighbor's success. You want what they have.

The first thing you have to realize is that it's ok to envy someone. I envy one of my friends who travels the world every year. I'd love to do that! But circumstances at this point don't allow it. I envy another friend who always seems to have the coolest gadgets. I want them! But I have other expenses I have to take care of first.

And when I was unpublished, I hung out on online loops where every week someone else had won a contest or gotten a request for a full or signed with an agent or pubbed a book, while nothing, nothing, nothing happened to me. Sometimes it got to be where I couldn't sign onto the loop without feeling a great wash of despair.

But don't feel bad. Envy is natural. When we want something (and want it bad!), it seems unfair that it happens to someone else.

Then I looked at it this way:

1. Do I want what they have? YES!
2. Am I willing to work very hard to have the same success? YES!
3. Do I want to take someone else's success away from them? NO.

No, I don't want to take the shiny trophy away from the person who is weeping with happiness, surrounded by her family and friends cheering for her because she won it. She worked hard, she likely had many, many problems along the way (personal and professional), and she probably deserves the damn trophy.

After I'd been writing a while I realized that no one's life is perfect, not even an author's (and these days I'm thinking, especially not an author's! LOL).

No one achieves without a lot of sweat, heartache, pain, and sacrifice. Very, very few people are handed things on a platter. (It might seem like some people are, but it's extremely rare, and it may be that you just can't see the pain behind the success.)

The most important question up there is:

Am I willing to put in the time, energy, and labor to get what that person I envy has?

If your answer is No, then the rest of this post probably won't help you. You are expecting things to be handed to you, and I'm sorry, they won't be. Nothing is free.

If it's Yes, then let me see if I can help you harness your envy and make it work for you.

[Shamim Ansary]

Encouraging post.

Thank you sir.

[shibli]

Dear Mr. Shamim

Could you please write something on professional jeasousy how it harms our professional growth?

Regards

[Shamim Ansary]

Professional Jealousy

I found an interesting article on it. This article is by Robert Genn, a painter of international repute who runs an art listing site called The Painters Keys. He says....

"There are all kinds of envy--at art schools, with the artist next door, even sharing the same studio. One woman wrote to say that the envy she felt for her friend’s paper tole drove her to stop working in the medium.
I’ve noticed a few things about the condition. The envied person is often perceived as having an unfair advantage. If not checked, envy can last a lifetime. It can destroy. Some artists develop systems to avoid falling into it. Some act as if other artists hardly exist. They only pay attention to their own private direction. They don’t join clubs, attend other’s openings, visits galleries. They only expose themselves on their own terms and in what they think is their best light to those who can be trusted to adore or become customers."

"In my opinion the best antidote to overcome envy is to look at the big picture. All of us are in competition with all others. Life’s a jungle. Survival of the fittest is a basic principle. It’s easy to be intimidated in small worlds when we are willing to remain in them. Be philosophic. Read more. Smell the daisies. Think outside the box.
Mild jealousy and covetousness are actually a route to improved capabilities. It’s called creative envy. It’s part of aspiring. The pressure can be channeled to new skills that take artists to a higher level, both economically and as evolved beings. There’s always something left to give. The camp of artistic altruism is full of brotherhood and sisterhood. It’s a cool place."

"The journey is the most important thing to me ....For years I kept most of my paintings under wraps….except for commissioned work for private and public clients, everything else was hidden away….painting was my private pleasure….last year I was persuaded to bring them out of hiding, so I decided it was time to part with them, and I started to sell to people who appreciate my style of work .. I can honestly say that I do not have an ounce of jealousy about anyone’s success…success means so many different things…for me it’s the feeling of pleasure I get when I’ve completed a painting…..I love painting for it’s own sake and I have developed my own style and method of working which I find very satisfying…I teach my methods to a group of painters every month, and have done so for many years….that’s not to say I don’t rejoice when I’ve sold…I would not be human if I didn’t, but for me the important part was the process of painting itself…the sales are just the icing on the cake."

*Envy is a symptom of lack of appreciation of our own uniqueness and self worth. Each of us has something to give that no one else has.
 

[shibli]

The jealous reactions of one person to the success of a friend

Jealousy is one of the human weaknesses which is very common. It is very doubtful if animals have got jealousy; they may not for they don't have the feeling as we, humans, have.

Let us suppose that two friends start on a similar mission. But after sometime one returns successful and wins the Kudos. The other is a miserable failure and so is crestfallen. When the latter meets the former glowing with recent success, he is jealous and would not freely talk or even would not have the mind to congratulate the other. He keeps himself morose and tries to avoid company. He doesn't even enjoy the old jokes. He avoids to speak of the other's success and does not like others speaking of it.

He may even go to the extent of thinking that the friend has kept certain things that led to his success a secret from him. That means he suspects of the fidelity or sincerity of the friend. He may sometimes openly say that the friend has let him down because of his selfishness. He would slight the success saying that it was only chance that made his friend successful. As a friend, while it is natural to expect of him to celebrate the success and to lead the party, he would avoid it and whenever there is such an occasion he would quietly hang at the back.

He would assume that he is being neglected because his friend has been successful and may even voice it out. He would go on saying now that the friend has been successful and he doesn't care for him like the old days. What need has he for him now ? He would even go to the extent of thinking imaginary contributions he has made for the success of the other. If it had not been for him, his friend would not have been successful.

This is all because this fellow cannot reach the same height as the other fellow. If the other one is as enlightened and outgoing he can easily make up; otherwise the jealousy may lead to a permanent rift. This sort of jealousy is more common among women folk than men folk.
          


crestfallen         disappointed and sad because of having failed unexpectedly in something
          
fidelity         honest or lasting support, or loyalty
          
rift         a serious disagreement which separates two people who have been friends

www.englishdaily626.com

[shibli]

The need for keeping one's temper under control

Temper can be defined as the mental vibrations in consonance with the external events which touch our senses. The reaction may be calm and quiet or violent. When one is subject to sudden conclusions of mental reactions to externals he is said to be temperamental. In such cases reason which helps one to keep poise is either absent or fails to help the subject.

Temper is a matter of training. It is the domestic environment that is responsible for the development of temper in children. The child may be pampered and wants to have his will and when he is not satisfied he flies into tempers. There is much more so in the case of a child who is lonely and who has no brothers and sisters; or again the child may be petted by all those around him he may become a spoiled child subject to tempers. This is how man grows to be temperamental.

To keep up one's temper requires a lot of insight into things. Simply because certain things happen in certain ways not to the liking of the subject, it is no reason why one should fly into a temper. There are innumerable occasions when things go wrong in spite of perhaps careful preparation and so on. To quote an instance, one may be in a hurry to open a lock; in spite of the key being there it takes some time before the lock is opened. In between, the person may lose his temper. Very often we find people standing in a queue getting bored and so losing their temper. Unless one applies his reason calmly to know why certain things are happening the way they do, he is likely to lose his temper. When we say 'he' it includes 'she' also. Of course she is more subject to tempers than he. Those who are in the higher rungs of society appear to be more subject to temper than those at the lowest rung. It may be because the former assumes that things should be as they please simply because they command. One very common instance would suffice to bring home the point. One is in a hurry to dress and to go and attend a function or meeting. At the last minute he takes out a shirt from the cabinet and finds out to his chagrin either the shirt has been torn by the washerman or the buttons are missing. He could have avoided the problem had he but given thought to it before.

When one loses one's temper it leads to many undesirable consequences. One is easily upset, with the blood circulation going quicker using angry words and offending others. In extreme cases it leads to a nervous breakdown and it may be sometime before the subject comes to the normal self. Such a person may lose friends, lose the sympathy and cooperation of servants. He may upset the peace and calm at home. He may prove a poor executive and in the mart he may create enemies. A man of temper is prone to commit crimes.

Then how to control oneself and keep up the mental poise ? This requires training in introspection. No use of fretting and fuming over spilt milk. Reason should dictate how to avoid it the next time the unexpected does happen, then there is no meaning in losing one's temper. In routine affairs, with regular planning, things may be made to move smoothly without jolt or hitch; everything in its proper place and everything in its proper time. If one were to follow this there may be few occasions for losing one's temper.

One should develop his faculty of reasoning; then he could easily keep his temper under control. It is also a matter of philosophy as in the case of stoics. There is a classical case of temper under control. In the Battle of Philippines, Brutus and Cassius quarreled and Brutus called Cassius names. That was quite unusual of Brutus. Cassius himself felt that it had come to that extent. Then some friends nearby whispered into the cars of Cassius that Portia, the dear wife of Brutus had been dead. Any one other than Brutus would have burst into tears, torn his hair and so on' but he never did any such thing. When Cassius heard it he could only say 'sorry.'

By keeping one's temper under control one saves a nervous breakdown. His friends and relatives would like him. He is saved from wrong judgment which he arrives at when he loses his temper.

A man who can keep his temper is a sweet person. He is happy and makes others happy. He illumines the company where he is found. He will never be subject to a nervous breakdown So let us learn to keep our temper under control.
          
innumerable         too many to be counted
          
chagrin         disappointment or anger, especially when caused by a failure or mistake
          
introspection         examination of and attention to your own ideas, thoughts and feelings

www.englishdaily626.com

[shibli]

Five things I love the most

This world is full of many wonderful and lovely things. Human beings are trying to utilize the maximum resources of his intellect for finding out various types of inventions and discoveries and thus endeavoring to make the things more lovely and worth enjoying. The process of beautifying the world is a continuous process. There is no end to it. Since there are many beautiful and lovely things, it becomes very difficult to pick and choose. Somehow, with great care, I have selected five things I would like to adopt in my future life.

Firstly, I love nature. I am fed up of this artificial and momentary pleasure which we derive from the city. I would like to settle down in some villages where I would be able to enjoy nature. Nature can be a true friend and guide for man. Wordsworth, the great lover of Nature, has also acknowledged this fact in his poems. I am very anxious to go and enjoy the scenery of steep hills; greenery of the own valleys, cool breeze and other natural things. There I would find people who will be quite different in nature from the city dwellers. Their motto of life is "simple living and spiritual thoughts" Thus I will have the privilege of coming in contact with simple and straight forward people.

Secondly, I would like to take up teaching as my career (have already taken). I am deeply pained to find illiteracy in my country. For the successful functioning of Democracy, it is essential that we reduce illiteracy to the minimum. I want every young man and woman to get educated. There is a dire need for spreading education to every nook and corner of the country. I hope that by selecting this profession, I would be serving my country in the most appropriate way.

Thirdly, I am a keen and voracious reader. Reading fictions and non fictions is my favorite pastime. Reading widens the door of knowledge. They give us an insight into this world. Sometimes we are able to resolve many difficult problems by reading. We are able to chalk out many schemes which can be useful in our day-to-day life.

Fourthly, I love my country. I can forego anything just for the honor of my country. If somebody were to ask me to go to a foreign land and serve there, and get a handsome salary I will be the first to bluntly refuse this offer. I am very fond of the way of life, food and sunshine of my country. If I were to go to a foreign country for employment, I would not be doing justice to my Motherland.

The last but not the least, I love my home sweet home, The saying "East or West, home is the best" is correct. I live in a small house which does not contain all the modem amenities, but still it is not less than a paradise. I have been to my friend's houses where I find ultra modern decorations and lavish furnishing. I do not like this type of artificial life or home.

The selected items above are the five things which I hold dearest to my heart and are the very essence of my being.
 
www.englishdaily626.com

[shibli]

Are scientific inventions making us happier ?

One of the most popular questions which is often asked is: "Are scientific inventions making us happier ?"

Science today has given us such comforts as were unimaginable years ago. Today we switch on the radio and listen to music, We have electricity, telephones, televisions, washing machines, refrigerators, air-conditioning plants and a host of other gadgets. All these things have made the life of man very easy and comfortable. The flush-lavatories, shower-baths, electric fans, cinemas, cars, trams and "planes" are among other scientific inventions which have increased the ease and happiness of, mankind.

Science has made traveling easy and efficient. The world has become small for us. But those exciting adventures and romances which traveling gave us in the past have all disappeared. Modem traveling is a dull business.

People who live in big cities like New York or London have benefited in some ways and lost in many other ways. The city people do not have any leisure. Their life is so busy and mechanical that they do not have any time "to stand and stare" as well as to see and appreciate the beauties of nature. Their lives have become artificial, devoid of charm and delight.

Modern age is an age of science. As science is advancing it is at the same time thwarting our civilization. In the world of science, the words love, emotion and sentiments are quite foreign. So what is the use of science to man if he gains the whole world but loses his soul ? Spiritualism is on the wane while materialism is on the increase. Philosophy, culture and love are rapidly fading from the surface of the earth because of the advancement of science.

On the destructive side, science has invented weapons which are dreadful and disastrous. The invention of U-boats, Rockets, Atom Bombs, Hydrogen Bombs and other harmful nuclear devices have increased the chances of human destruction. Thus, if these weapons of science are misused. they would spell disaster for entire mankind. This is the peak of scientific civilization.

Thus the opinion generally remains divided on the above subject. No one can claim that science is beneficial or a complete curse. While a scientist makes inventions, a politician misuses them. Mainly, it is this wrong application of scientific inventions by the politician which has brought humanity to a bad state. In this respect science has dehumanized us. Nowadays we have better drugs and surgical instruments but men are becoming weak constitutionally. What an irony of fate it is ? Today, we have a sensitive 'heart', a sensitive 'lung' and a sensitive liver' due to fast speed, smoky atmosphere and dusty roads. Thus science, while it makes mankind happy by its latest achievements, also makes it unhappy when it shows its destructive power. But, broadly speaking, science can be used for happiness but the mad mind of the man and particularly of the politician misusing the discoveries of science, makes us unhappy.

www.englishdaily626.com

[shibli]

If I were a millionaire( Jodi Laiga Jay)

We often hear elderly people advising their young ones to forget the past and the future and care for the present only. But there is hardly any one who has no ambition for a higher status than his present one. This constant struggle for a higher position and money remains with a person till the last day of his/her life. This struggle, in fact, is essential for achieving higher ends in life.

I belong to the middle-class. I can never think of earning millions of dollars but there is nothing wrong in harboring the hope that I might win a lottery. Suppose I am fortunate enough to win a lottery of 40 lacs taka, I will try to spend it in the most appropriate manner so as to derive the maximum pleasure out of it.

My colleagues advise me that at the very outset, I should endeavor to improve my lot. I should have a huge mansion to live in and a car for the family. But my idea of life is quite different. Rather than improving my lot, I am much more interested in uplifting the condition of the poor masses of the country.

My country is poor. There are people in my country who hardly get two square meals a day, what more to speak of enjoying the comforts and luxuries of life. They are semi-fed and semi-clad. Most of these people are living in villages, where the main occupation of the people is agriculture. I will offer them a loan at a very nominal/no interest to enable them to purchase tractors, fertilizers and better seeds. This scheme will save the villagers from the village money lender.

I will invest a good portion of my money in constructing a hospital with all the modem amenities. I will employ highly qualified doctors. This hospital will be run free of charge for the poor masses. Charities will always be awaited from the rich classes. This will save people from the jaws of death.

Many people, particularly in villages, have no means of recreation, I shall spend a part of my wealth to provide means of recreation for the Many people, particularly in villages, have no means of recreation, I shall spend a part of my wealth to provide means of recreation for the poor. I shall open various social and educational centers at various places.

Since there is no adequate provision for the support of orphans and widows, I would, therefore, lose no time in opening new centers for widows and orphans. They will work and earn their livelihood honorably. This will certainly help in the cause of country's advancement.

There may be people who will jeer and mock at my utter foolishness of spending millions of dollars in this manner. Probably they do not realize that a person gets inner happiness in helping the poor, which is much more than the sensual pleasures that a person can get from the money he possesses. To spend money like this, will be my dearest hopes and aspirations.

www.englishdaily626.com

[Shamim Ansary]

If more people with crores of taka would think like you and dared to implement the plans you have envisaged!

May your dream come true.

Please sir, allocate some money as well for boosting up the morality of our countrymen. If people in much proportions turn to be honest and patriotic, it will definitely alleviate the toils of doing good of the country.

[shibli]

What do you think is the value of science in general education for one who doesn't want to become a scientist

Science makes sense. What is sense ? Knowing, understanding, applying and appreciating, all to go to make sense. Man alone is endowed with this capacity to know while other animals live by mere instinct. Man alone can modify his environment while other animals when they cannot adapt to the changing environment simply perish. Not only does man modify his environment but he creates also an environment where he can live comfortably. Thus man today can live in the hottest part of the world or the coldest part. This achievement he has been able to get by his knowledge of Science and by his mastery over forces and by his ability to adapt them for his own ends.

Whether one is going to be a scientist or not, one should be able to use the products of science. There are innumerable gadgets science has placed in our hands; man enjoys using them. There is no time in the day when man does not use some product or other. At home stoves are in common usage. Watches are used as though a man is born with them. Bicycles, motorcycles, scooters and motorcars are commonly used for transport. Transistorized radios and stereograms have come to stay. They are looked upon as important second only to food and clothing. Television is catching up too. In the office many contrivances are used like the intercom telephone, the transistorized calculating machine and computers. Man is affected by all these. Directly or indirectly he has to deal with them. In most cases one has to use them. This requires a rudimentary knowledge of their working. So we see whether it be at home or in the farm or in the office, a knowledge of science would go a long way to enjoy the fruits. Otherwise it would be like a man who bought a gold watch but could not tell the time because it had Roman numerals.

The next stage is to know how things work. One must have a fundamental knowledge of science. An idea of various laws connected science, a knowledge of energy and its various causes and effects are fundamentals to be learnt. One must have the knowledge of the world of elements to know and understand their reactions. One may handle a camera efficiently without knowing the physical and chemical actions involved. To understand them is by far better than simply following instructions blindly. Besides the physical world there is the world of living things. How organisms live and multiply, how they affect our lives, how best to make use of them for the betterment of our lives are some of the areas of biological sciences in which man must be interested. Now that scientific farming has come to stay, man must know all about the tools of farming, manures and fertilizers and enemies and friends of plants.

What the ancient man looked at with awe and fear, the modem man is able to appreciate. He can measure the skies, probe into space and dig deep into the bowels of the earth or ocean for minerals. Science is not only for material benefits but also for the progress of mankind. The landing of "The Viking " on planet Mars may be a costly project today but the knowledge gained from it is useful. The appreciation of the world of colour and sound is something to be cultivated. This had led to the great poetry of the world.

Knowledge of Science has helped man to create. The creative activity is not confined to scientists alone but the knowledge of basic science has helped many to create. This is evident in various fields and we come across ordinary artisans without any scientific knowledge doing a bit of creative activity.

Therefore, a knowledge of Science to an ordinary man, even though he may not become a scientist is as valuable as his knowing the fundamentals of civil law.

www.englishdaily626.com
          

[shibli]

What measures have been suggested to deal with the rapid increase in the world's population ? Which of these, in your view should be encouraged ?

One of the greatest of scourges for humankind's undoing is the growth of the population of the world. This is called population explosion and people who know say that if this explosion continues at the rate it does there may even be no standing space on the earth by the end of this century. With the conquest of diseases, better environmental conditions, measures of social welfare and better mother and child care, the balance of the living over the dead is improving; hence the great number of people on the earth.

Population explosion has brought about a strain on government because the responsibility to feed the teeming millions rests with the state. In spite of all the advances in farming and agriculture the production of food cannot keep pace with the requirements. The modem state is in charge of the many welfare activities and as such a vast percentage of the national revenue has to be spent on welfare activities like education, medical care, roads and housing. As such money will not be available for economic betterment. Many Governments are caught up with the problem. The question now is how to contain it. In principle all are agreed that it is better to mend the roof before it rains. There are, of course, differences of opinion on religious grounds but even then they are coming to an agreement.

Various measures have been suggested to control population growth. They are the pill, the loop, sterilization of both men and women and the rhythm method. Now the pill for females only are available though the time may not be far off when the pill for the male also will be in the market. The pill taken by the female as advised by the doctor would help her avoid pregnancy. But there are some side effects in taking the pill like blood pressure, over weight and sometimes even cancer. Such incidence is far and few between. The medical opinion is divided on this question. Perhaps it may be sometime before a fool proof pill may be put into the market.

The loop is another method. A tiny gadget in the form of a loop is inserted in the uterus and this helps the female avoid getting pregnant. This is said to be a comparatively cheap and convenient method. The loop itself can be removed when the need arises. Even here there is some danger in that some people develop complications after the insertion of the IUCD as the loop is called.

The rhythm method follows nature's calendar. Between the monthly cycles there is a period in women when they can conceive. If that period is avoided by the couple, then there is no chance of conception. This is good but man being an animal, his ability to self control is very limited and any intimacy may lead to conception. This method is highly ethical, provided there is a strict agreement between the husband and wife. The problem is one cannot always be remembering the calendar.

The next best and most fool proof method is sterilization. Vasectomy in the case of the male and the tubectomy in the case of the female, when properly done, will help them avoid conception permanently. Vasectomy is much easier and a few men are willing to undergo that operation. The majority fear that they may go impotent but according to medical opinion there is no ground at all for such a fear. Tubectomy is better done immediately after a delivery.

The next method is abortion and this has been legalized by almost all governments though once it was looked upon as a sin. They call it medical termination of unwanted conception. Once it was resorted to when the health of the prospective mother didn't warrant a conception. Now very simpler method of aborting has come and under competent hands abortion is not dangerous. It raises a moral question because this may encourage pre-marital conceptions and immorality among careless youths. Postponement of marriage is one of the methods suggested but it does not appear to be an answer.

Weighing the pros and cons of the various methods, until a simpler method is devised, sterilization alone seems to be the answer today. Hence governments are bringing in legislation to make sterilization compulsory. Whatever opinions one may have, whatever objections one may raise on moral or religious grounds to save humanity from self destruction, family planning is a must.
          
  www.englishdaily626.com        

[shibli]

What restriction, if any, should there be on what an author writes ?

 

An author writes in various ways on various things. An author may be a poet, novelist, dramatist or a critic. A journalist is also an author in his own right but usually when we generalize one as an author, the journalist is not included. If a journalist writes in journals which can stand the test of time as in the case of great writers like Dr. Johnson and Goldsmith they can become classics.

So an author whatever category he belongs to writes and lives by his pen. He may write for pleasure or for his livelihood. A few write seriously because they think they have a mission to fulfill, to cleanse the society or to propagate their own philosophy. Still another category of authors write biographies of the heroes of their choice. There have been and still there are a few who write their own autobiographies. This is not the end of it. There is a wide field which authors can choose to write about.

Whatever one writes it must not be defamatory; in other words, one must not write ill of others. To write that way requires a lot of courage because the consequences may not be pleasant. Sometimes authors indulge in this sort of writing once they feel they have the material on hand to prove or vouch what they write. These things have happened and poor authors have been dragged to the court. Cheap journals alone indulge in this cheap tactics. By doing so they think they arc exposing the wrong-doer to the public view but they should also be aware of the consequences. So defamatory writing must be avoided.

Then there is the fiery writing where the feelings of the people are roused to the boiling point. Some of the writings during the pre-revolution in France were of this kind. Hugo's "Les Miserable" is a good example. The first part of the story speaks of the very harsh French Laws then. Simply because a poor man stole a loaf of bread to save a child he was put behind bars for a long time. During a turbulent period in the history of a land such fiery writings are common. But there is a great risk for the author because the government of the day and sometimes people may not stand for such hot stuff.
This type of writing may include critical views of the author about people's manners and customs. If this is not written in a forth right fashion, this writing pays good dividends. A lot of examples could be found in the novels of Charles Dickens who was critical about the nineteenth century Industrial England. The author makes his creations his mouth piece and through them he broadcasts his views about people's manners, customs and foibles. This requires a lot of observation and a dexterity of the pen on the part of the author. Here the author must not make things appear personal but what he writes must be indicative and easily identifiable.

An author must avoid obscene writing. But unfortunately such things do happen and books containing writings which cannot be mouthed by any civilized person are being published. Even great authors indulge in such undesirable stuff. So it is for the public to treat such writings with contempt and not to encourage such writers.

An author must not be too critical of the government of the day. The government will try to get the man away from mischief. In fact, in turbulent times governments bring forth laws prohibiting such writings. So an author to avoid defamation, public anger and being blacklisted must write prudently.
          
propagate         to spread opinions, lies or religions among a lot of people
          
rouse         to wake someone up or make someone more active or excited
          
foible         a strange habit or characteristic that is seen as not important and not harming anyone

www.englishdaily626.com