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thinking oneself big

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shibli:

The person who thinks oneself big or great is not great at all, people have to speak about that. "Aponake je boro bole boro shey noy, loke jaake boro bole boro shey hoy"

Shamim Ansary:
''The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven..." John Milton, English Poet

shibli:
What is Professional Jealousy?

Professional jealousy is really envy--something wonderful happens to someone else and you wish it had happened to you. If you want to be Biblical, you are wanting your neighbor's success. You want what they have.

The first thing you have to realize is that it's ok to envy someone. I envy one of my friends who travels the world every year. I'd love to do that! But circumstances at this point don't allow it. I envy another friend who always seems to have the coolest gadgets. I want them! But I have other expenses I have to take care of first.

And when I was unpublished, I hung out on online loops where every week someone else had won a contest or gotten a request for a full or signed with an agent or pubbed a book, while nothing, nothing, nothing happened to me. Sometimes it got to be where I couldn't sign onto the loop without feeling a great wash of despair.

But don't feel bad. Envy is natural. When we want something (and want it bad!), it seems unfair that it happens to someone else.

Then I looked at it this way:

1. Do I want what they have? YES!
2. Am I willing to work very hard to have the same success? YES!
3. Do I want to take someone else's success away from them? NO.

No, I don't want to take the shiny trophy away from the person who is weeping with happiness, surrounded by her family and friends cheering for her because she won it. She worked hard, she likely had many, many problems along the way (personal and professional), and she probably deserves the damn trophy.

After I'd been writing a while I realized that no one's life is perfect, not even an author's (and these days I'm thinking, especially not an author's! LOL).

No one achieves without a lot of sweat, heartache, pain, and sacrifice. Very, very few people are handed things on a platter. (It might seem like some people are, but it's extremely rare, and it may be that you just can't see the pain behind the success.)

The most important question up there is:

Am I willing to put in the time, energy, and labor to get what that person I envy has?

If your answer is No, then the rest of this post probably won't help you. You are expecting things to be handed to you, and I'm sorry, they won't be. Nothing is free.

If it's Yes, then let me see if I can help you harness your envy and make it work for you.

Shamim Ansary:
Encouraging post.

Thank you sir.

shibli:
Dear Mr. Shamim

Could you please write something on professional jeasousy how it harms our professional growth?

Regards

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