Entertainment & Discussions > Jokes
Laugh collection
Golam Kibria:
Q: What does a baby computer call his father?
A: Data.
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Q: What is a computer's first sign of old age?
A: Loss of memory.
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Q: What happened when the computer fell on the floor?
A: It slipped a disk.
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Q: What is a computer virus?
A: A terminal illness.
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Q: Why was there a bug in the computer?
A: It was looking for a byte to eat.
Golam Kibria:
The Shopkeeper
A shopkeeper goes to the police to say that he has been robbed. A shoplifter came into his shop, he says, opened a packet of biscuits and ate some of them. Then the man just walked out without paying.
The police find the man and bring him in.
"I've done nothing wrong," he says. "The packet said `25 per cent extra for free, so I just ate the ones that didn`t cost anything".
Golam Kibria:
How do you double the value of a Skoda?
Fill the tank !
How do you double the value of a Skoda?
Chuck a pound into it.
How can you tell that your Skoda has been broken into?
There's nothing missing.
How can you make policemen laugh?
Tell them your Skoda just got stolen.
What do you call a Skoda with a sun roof ?
A skip!
Why does a Skoda have a double rear window heater ?
To keep everyones hands warm when they are pushing it !
Whats the difference between a Jehova Witness and a Skoda?
You can shut the door on a Jehova Witness!
What do you call a Skoda full of food?
A Lada! (larder - get it)
What do you call a Skoda with automatic windows?
A toll booth.
What do you call a Skoda in the winter?
A freezer.
What do you call a Skoda in the summer?
An oven.
Why do Skodas have a rear wash wipe ?
........To remove the flies that crash into them.
What is the difference between a Skoda and the flu ?
You can get rid of the flu !
What do you call a Skoda at the the top of a hill ?
A miracle.
What do you call a Skoda with a ladder on the roof ?
A wheelbarrow !
What do you call a Skoda with a long radio aerial?
A dodgem!
What's the difference between being caught inside Kylie Minogue's Bra and being caught inside a Skoda ?
You feel a bigger tit in a Skoda !
What's the difference between a Skoda and tickets for an Oasis concert?
Oasis tickets go fast!
There is a big competition online: the first prize is a Skoda, the second prize is two Skodas.
I've just bought the new 16 valve Skoda
.......4 in the engine, 12 in the radio!
A guy goes into his local garage and asks "Do you have a windscreen wiper for my Skoda???"
"Sounds like a fair swap" replied the man in the garage.
Golam Kibria:
Trabant Jokes
Q. How do you double the value of a Trabant?
A. Fill up the tank!
Q. How many workers does it take to build a Trabi?
A. Three, one to cut, one to fold and one to paste.
Q. How do you measure the acceleration of a Trabant?
A. With a diary.
Q. Why do some Trabants have heated rear windows?
A. To keep your hands warm when pushing.
Q. What's the difference between a Jehovah's Witness and a Trabant?
A. You can shut the door on a Jehovah's Witness.
Q. When does a Trabi reach its top speed?
A. When it's being towed.
During a visit to the Leipzig Trade Fair a filthy rich oil sheik heard that there was a car with a delivery time of over ten years. Since Rolls Royce usually delivered more quickly than that, he thought it must be quite an exceptional car, which he would certainly have to have in his collection. Sight unseen, he made a request to order this Trabant. In Zwickau they were aware of this great honour, and the potential PR coup, so they immediately changed the running "Five-Year Plan" and arranged to send him the very next car off the line. The car reached the Emirates in a matter of weeks, instead of years. The happy oil sheik immediately called his friends together, opened the container, and exclaimed in surprise: "Gosh! They may have incredibly long delivery times, but at least they send you a plastic model in advance — and the best thing is you can even drive it!"
A man went into a Trabant dealership and said to the salesman: "I'd like to buy a Trabant with a two-tone color scheme please? The salesman replied: "Certainly sir, we have one with that colour scheme, plus power steering, cruise control, adjustable power seats, air conditioning, and a digital instrument panel". The man replied: "You're joking!". The dealer responded: "Well, you started it!"
A cow pat asked a Trabant: "What are you?" The Trabant replied: "A car!" The cow pat responsed: "If you're a car, then I'm a pizza!"
Golam Kibria:
কানে তুলা
প্রথম বন্ধু: দোস্ত, তোর কানে তুলা গোজা কেন?
দ্বিতীয় বন্ধু: দোস্ত, তোর কথা কিছুই শুনতেছি না। আমার কানে তুলা গোজা।
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