Religion & Belief (Alor Pothay) > Islam
Divorce
Badshah Mamun:
Divorce, ISLAMIC PERSPECTIVE
Question :
What are the reasons that a man can justify to divorce? Is it ok for him to divorce a woman identifying her mistakes?
Does the wife have the right to try to reconcile even if the husband does not want to, is there anything in Islam that requires that the husband must try to reconcile, or is everything completely up to him?
Answer :
Divorce is the most hated permissible thing in the sight of Allah. It dissolves families and deprives children the family atmosphere. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: "The most hateful permissible thing (al-Halal) in the sight of Allah is divorce." (Abu Dawud, Hadith 1863, Ibn Majah, Hadith 2008).
The spouses should avoid divorce as much as possible. If they have difficulties and problems, they should be patient and forbearing. They have to try to work out their differences and seek help from their relatives, friends or professional counselors.
Due to the sacredness of the marriage contract, Islam asks both the husband and the wife to keep and respect this bond. Thus, each partner in this sacred relationship must treat the other kindly and properly. A man must not divorce his wife to bring harm upon her, as this constitutes an act that demolishes this noble establishment, breaks the woman�s heart, and possibly separates the woman from her children without any reason. Thus, the separation between a man and his wife (without just reasons) was considered one of the major and grave sins, and one of the most beloved actions of Satan, as was narrated in a number of hadiths. This is, of course, a form of oppression which is totally forbidden in Islam.
In this regard, we recall the Prophet�s hadith that reads: "Iblis (Satan) places his throne upon water, then sends his groups. The closest to him are those who (tempt people to) commit the most grievous of sins (fitnah). One of them would approach him and say: I did such-and-such. Iblis would reply: You have done nothing. Another would approach and say: I did not leave him (a man) until I caused him to leave his wife and for them to be separated. Iblis would bring him close to his throne and would say: How good you are!�
And since the husband must never divorce his wife in order to bring harm upon her without reason, it is also forbidden for a woman to ask for a divorce without a sensible reason. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: �Any woman who asks her husband to divorce her without an acceptable reason will never smell the scent of Paradise.�
Given the above, it becomes crystal clear that neither the husband nor the wife has the right to resort to divorce without justification. Divorce should be the last resort after all attempts of reconciliation fail. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: �Let a believing man not dislike a believing woman. If something in her is displeasing to him, another trait may be pleasing.�
And Allah Almighty says, ".� And consort with them in kindness, for if you dislike them, it may be that you dislike something in which Allah has placed much good." (An-Nisa'4:19)
A husband should accept reconciliation, particularly when his wife shows her wish for reform and obedience. Allah says:
"... And as for those women on whose part you fear stubbornness, (first) admonish them; then refuse to share their beds; and (finally) beat them (lightly). Then if they return to obedience, seek not against them Means (of annoyance); indeed, Allah is Most High, Great (34) And if you fear breach between the two of them, appoint an arbiter from his family and an arbiter from her family. If they desire to set things aright, Allah will bring about reconciliation between them; indeed, Allah is Knowing, Aware." (An-Nisa' 4: 34-35)
It is to be remembered that each divorce has multiple effects on their ownself (later not getting a good spouse easily, and for woman, not even remarriage at all) but also on children (who get hanged between father and mother). It may be very long or permanent division between two attached families, specially if they have multiple family bindings.
Source: http://www.islamicislamic.com/divorce.htm#1._Divorce,_ISLAMIC_PERSPECTIVE_
Badshah Mamun:
Divorce: CHRISTIANITY PERSPECTIVE
Christianity stands alone among the religions, in distinction even to Judaism, in prohibiting both divorce and marriage to divorced men and women.
Jesus (peace be on him) is reported to have said, "It was also said, 'Whoever divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorcement. But I tell you, whoever divorces his wife, except on the grounds of adultery, causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who has been divorced commits adultery. (AI-Islam Din 'Am Khalid by Farid Wajdi, p. 172.) " (Matt. 5:31-32) "And he said to them, 'Whoever divorces his wife and marries another, commits adultery against her; and if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.' " (Mark 10:11-12)
The reason for this is given in the Gospels in the words, "What therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder.'' (Matt. 19:6, Mark 10:9.) This statement is correct in the sense that, since the husband and wife are married by God's permission and legislation, one may say that God has joined them together, although it is the man who enters into the marriage contract. In similar fashion, since God has permitted and legislated divorce in relation to certain reasons and circumstances, one may say that God has separated them, even though the man implements the divorce. It thus becomes clear that no man puts asunder what God has joined together, for joining together and putting asunder is in the hands of Almighty God, and is it not God Himself Who puts them asunder due to the reason of sexual immorality?
Differences Among Christian Denominations Regarding Divorce
The New Testament Gospels do make an exception with regard to the prohibition of divorce in the case of sexual immorality. Some Catholics, however, try to explain away even this exception by saying, "The meaning here is not that adultery is an exception in the case of which divorce is permitted, because in Christian law there is no divorce. The phrase, 'Except for unchastity,' means that the marriage itself is annulled, since its legality and correctness have been violated; thus, while it is seemingly a marriage, in actuality it is adultery. Consequently, in such a case it is permissible for the husband, or rather incumbent upon him, to leave the woman." (In a commentary on the Gospel According to Matthew, Institute of Coptic Catholic Research.)
The Protestant denominations permit divorce on the grounds of adultery, betrayal of the husband, and some other specified reasons, in addition to those mentioned in the text of the Gospels. However, some of these denominations prohibit the remarriage of a divorced man or woman.
The councils of the Orthodox Church in Egypt permit its followers the right of divorce on the grounds of adultery, as provided by the Gospels, and for some other reasons such as sterility extending over a period of three years, chronic illness, and prolonged dissension which appears to be irresolvable.
Consequences of the Christian Stand on Divorce
As a result of this uncompromising stand of Christianity with regard to divorce, people in Western countries were obliged to resort to civil legislation in order to legalize it. Unfortunately, many of them, the Americans, for example, went to an extreme of permissiveness in the matter of divorce so that it is granted for quite trivial reasons. Some Western philosophers warn that this ease in divorce will dilute the sanctity of the marital bond and erode the very foundations of family life. A well-known judge declared that the time is not too far off when, in Western countries, marriage will be replaced by a loose and tenuous relationship between men and women, similar to a commercial transaction, which can be broken for the most trivial reasons. Since there will be no bond of religion or love between such a pair, they will be united only by their lusts and the desire to experience a variety of pleasures, a type of relationship which is against the teachings of every religion:
This phenomenon of regulating personal affairs through civil law is against the teachings of every religion and is not to be found anywhere in the world except among the peoples of the Christian West; even Hindus, Buddhists, and Zoroastrians observe religious injunctions in the ordering of their personal affairs. Although we may find among them those who have made innovations in the teachings of their religions in matters of public concern, such innovations are not undertaken in personal affairs, that is to say, in marriage, divorce, and what pertains to family life. (As quoted in Huquq al-insan fil-lslam (Human Rights in Islam), by 'Abd al-Wahid Wafi, p. 88.)
The Christian Stand on Divorce: A Temporary Injunction, Not a Permanent Law
A serious student of the Gospels cannot escape the conclusion that what Jesus (peace be on him) taught was intended to correct excesses introduced into the divine law by the Jews. His teachings, including his statements concerning divorce, were never intended to be taken as permanent law for the whole of mankind.
In the Gospel according to Matthew we find the following dialogue between Jesus and the Pharisees: And the Pharisees came to him and put him to the test by asking, 'Is it lato dismiss one's wife for any cause?' He replied, 'Have you never read that "He Who made them the beginning made them male and female, and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined inseparably to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh? ' " (Gen. 1:27, 2:24)
So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder.' They said to him, 'Why then did Moses command (us) to give a certificate of divorce, and thus to dismiss a wife?' (Deut. 24:1-4). He said to them, 'Because of the hardness of your hearts Moses permitted you to dismiss your wives; but from the beginning it has not been so (ordained). I say to you: whoever dismisses his wife, except for unchastity, and marries another, commits adultery, and he who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.' The disciples said to him, 'If the case of a man with his wife is like that, it is neither profitable nor advisable to merry.' (Matt. 19:3-10)
From this dialogue it is clear that by restricting the permissibility of divorce to the case of unchastity alone, Jesus intended to correct the excesses of the Jews in the indiscriminate application of divorce, which was permitted under Mosaic Law. This was obviously a temporary remedy, abrogated by the permanent and universal law of Islam brought by Prophet Muhammad (peace be on him).
To suppose that Jesus (peace be on him) intended to make this an eternal law for all mankind does not appeal to reason. We see that his disciples, the most sincere of his followers, were aghast at such a harsh decree, saying, "If the case of a man with his wife is like that, it is neither profitable nor advisable to marry," that is, the moment a man marries a woman he puts a yoke around his neck which it is impossible to remove, regardless of how miserable their life together may become because of mutual hatred and incompatibility of temperaments. As a wise man has aptly said, "The greatest torment in life is a companion who neither agrees with you nor leaves you alone."
Badshah Mamun:
DIVORCE � CORRECT ISLAMIC PROCEDURE
Question :
Please explain what the proper Islamic procedure of divorce is. If a person divorces his wife in anger three times, is it counted one divorce or three divorces? In case he feels sorry about his words and wants to keep the marriage relationship, what is the proper procedure to annul the divorce?
Answer :
In his answer to the question in point, Dr. Muzammil H. Siddiqi, former President of the Islamic Society of North America, states:
"Divorce is the most hateful thing to Allah, but it is allowed (halal) only in the case of absolute necessity. If a couple tried their best to reconcile their differences, but they still could not agree and they found impossible to live with each other, then only in that case they should separate in a proper and decent manner. Divorce can be initiated by the husband or by the wife. The husband has the right to pronounce the words of divorce (talaq) to his wife. He can also give her a statement of divorce in writing. The wife can seek divorce from her husband through khul`, but if he refuses to grant her request then she can seek the dissolution of marriage through the court of law. The Shari`ah has not given the right to a woman to divorce her husband, because only the husband has all the financial obligations of the family. After divorce he will be responsible to provide her maintenance during her `iddah and if there are any children in the family then he will be responsible for their expenses. Thus to grant her that right equally with the husband while she has no financial obligation is unfair and unjust. The wife can, however, divorce her husband if her husband gave her that right either at the time of marriage or afterwards.
A husband who wants to divorce his wife should use the words of divorce with full awareness after much thinking and consideration. Using the words of divorce in haste or anger is not right. The proper procedure is to give divorce when a woman is not pregnant and is not going through her monthly menstrual cycle. Divorce can take place by saying one time "I have divorced you" (talluqtuki) or "You are divorced" (anti taliq). After this the women should spend the time of her `iddah. During the period of `iddah the husband can cancel his divorce and can resume the matrimonial relationship, but if it does not happen then the divorce takes effect and at the end of the `iddah period their marriage ends. There is no need to repeat the words of divorce more than once. Even one divorce is sufficient to terminate the relationship.
The provision of the second and third divorce is given for a husband who divorces his wife one time and then cancels his divorce, but then after sometime changes his mind and divorces her again second time. Then he changes his mind and resumes the relationship and then again after that he divorces her. The Shari`ah says that now this relationship should end. Marriage is a serious matter. One cannot keep divorcing one's wife and returning her back. After the third divorce he cannot take her back. The third divorce is called the "irrevocable divorce" (talaq mughallaz). The wife now becomes forbidden to her husband completely. She cannot go back to this husband who has divorced her three times, unless she marries another person who out of his own free will divorces her and then after the `iddah she and her previous husband want to remarry. This is called halalah in the language of the Shari`ah. This rule is given by the Shari'ah to reduce the occurrence of three divorces and to protect the honor of the woman.
Some people misuse this procedure out of ignorance or willingly. There are some people who think that the divorce (talaq) would not happen unless one makes the statement three times. There are others who repeat the words of divorce for emphasis and have no idea that this could be very serious. The jurists (fuqaha') have discussed this issue for the last fourteen hundred years. There were some jurists who took the strict position that three divorces whether uttered at once or separately would be considered as three divorces. According to them, whether a person misused this right knowingly or unknowingly the affect would be the same. If some one uttered the words of divorce three times, then this would be talaq mughallaz and his wife would become totally forbidden for him and they could not reconcile without a halalah. There are, however, some other jurists who emphasize the role of will in marriage and divorce. They say that if the husband used three divorces intentionally as three, then they will be counted as three, but if he repeated the words in anger or to emphasize his point then this is one divorce and he will have the right to resume the relationship with his wife. I feel that the second position is closer to the spirit of the Shari`ah. I am pleased to see that there are now some Hanafi jurists also who are inclined to this position. There were fatwas issued to this effect by the `Ulama' of Deoband and Nadwa in India as well the `Ulama in Saudi Arabia.
The issue of a divorce given in anger is also important. The basic rule is that divorce must be uttered with full consciousness and without any coercion. If a person pronounced the words of divorce to his wife, in a fit of anger, while he lost all control over himself or due to the influence of intoxicants which he sinfully consumed, or he was forced by someone else to do so, then in all these cases his words of divorce are null and void and have no effect. In conclusion, let me say that Muslims must protect their family life and must avoid divorce as much as possible. If it becomes necessary to have divorce then use the Islamic methods and procedures. Obviously we cannot give all the details here. Those who need more information they should consult special books on this subject or speak to those who are knowledgeable."
Badshah Mamun:
Divorce, DIFFERENT OPINION
Question :
After being married for eighteen months, my nephew had an argument with his wife which resulted in her departure to her parents home. Twenty-five days later, he called her by telephone to ask her to come back. However, on the phone they argued again and, in a sate of extreme anger, my nephew pronounced the words " I divorce you " four times. Regretting what had happened, my nephew consulted several scholars and he came out with two different rulings.
1. The first, according to fiqh, says that as he divorced his wife more than twice, he cannot be reunited with her without an intervening marriage of his divorcee to another man.
The other ruling, according to Qur'an and Hadith, says that all four pronouncements count as one divorce, and as such, the divorcee can be reunited in marriage. Their families are at a loss and do not know what to do in the face of these two conflicting rulings. Could you please clarify the situation? May I say that my nephew is a follower of Qur'an and Hadith.
2. I read many questions and answers regarding divorce in your paper, but unfortunately the exact process is not yet clear to me. Could you please let me know how a man can divorce his wife and what instructions he should follow, and when the process is complete, what are the duties of an ex-husband towards his divorced wife?
Answer :
Let me first of all say very clearly that there is no such thing as fiqh which can be taken as something separate from, or put in opposition to Qur'an or Hadith. Fiqh is a branch of Islamic scholarship which explains the details of Islamic legislation on the basis of commandments and instructions stated in the Qur'an and the Hadith. Different scholars may arrive at different conclusions on a particular subject, because they may not have the same statements in Hadith available to them. The Qur'an is available to all, but some of its statements may be given in general terms with Hadith explaining or qualifying them.
The two rulings your nephew received from scholars in his home town are both given by scholars of fiqh on the basis of the Qur'an and Hadith. Wherever a person goes in the Muslim world, he is bound to be given the same two rulings by scholars. Not only so, the same scholar may explain to him both rulings. How is this possible?
The answer is the supporting evidence for each ruling. There is no doubt that both have very valid evidence. We cannot dismiss either ruling out of hand, nor can we ignore its basis. Scholars of highest repute in our history subscribed to either one or the other. How can then a layman manage his own situation and which ruling he should follow?
The simple advice is that he should go to a broad minded scholar and explain his case. He should make sure that the scholar does not strictly follow a particular school of thought but rather is one who gives a judgement on each case according to its merit, and as he deems most suitable to the people concerned, using any judgement given by different schools of thought as long as it has sufficient supporting evidence to keep the enquirer within the boundaries of what is acceptable from the Islamic point of view. I do not think that much purpose can be served by a detailed discussion in a newspaper like ours of the different factors relevant to each of the two rulings.
However, I can say very briefly that the one which makes a divorce pronounced three times on the same occasion count as three divorces came into operation during the time of Umar without disagreement by any of the learned companions of the Prophet. It was more in punishment for a degree of abuse of the Islamic process of divorce. There is no disagreement among scholars that to divorce one's wife three times or more on the same occasion is forbidden from the Islamic point of view because it is an abuse of a legitimate procedure. When the Prophet was told by one of his companions that he divorced his wife one hundred times on the same occasion, the Prophet was very angry.
He addressed his companions in such terms, "Is Allah's Book to be trifled with when I am still alive among you?" However, the overwhelming majority of people who divorce their wives three times on the same occasion nowadays do so out of ignorance. They think that unless they pronounce the word of divorce three times, the divorce is not valid. Hence an explanation of the divorce process in Islam needs to be given time and again until people get to know how to approach divorce, which is disliked by Allah, should they ever need to resort to it. Perhaps I should add that divorce in Islam is a very simple process but well entrenched misconceptions tend to obscure it. Here it is in simple terms :
Essentially marriage is a verbal contract and its dissolution is normally made verbally. When a man intends to divorce his wife, he should make sure that she is not in her menstruation period and that the two of them have not had sexual intercourse during her current period of cleanliness from menstruation. If either case is there, i.e. if the woman is in the period or if sexual intercourse has taken place, then to effect a divorce at that particular time is forbidden. They should wait until the woman has finished her period or until she has had her next period. The divorce process is started with a simple utterance of the words "I divorce you," or "I divorce ---------------- "(naming one's wife). This should be done ONCE ONLY.
This can also be done in writing and sent by post. From that moment, a woman starts her waiting period which lasts until she has completed three menstruation periods or three periods of cleanliness from menstruation. If she does not have the period either because she is too old or too young, then her waiting term lasts three months. If she is pregnant, the waiting term continues until she has given birth. During this time, she stays in her home, i.e. her family home where she has been living with her husband. He is not allowed to turn her out. He is required to maintain her through this period but may not share the same bedroom.
She is not required to do any housework. The waiting period provides both divorcees with time to reconsider their situation. If they wish to be reunited in marriage, they may do so within the waiting period without any need to have a fresh marriage contract or to pay a fresh dower. If they do not resume their marriage until the waiting period is over, then the divorce process is complete and the woman returns to her parents' home and is entitled to get any deferred portion of her dower.
She is not entitled to any maintenance for herself from her ex-husband. If, however, she has the custody of any young children, they are entitled to be supported by their father. Both are also entitled to maintain their normal relationship with their children. On the other hand, if the divorcees want to be reunited in marriage after the waiting period is over, they may do so provided they have a new marriage contract and the woman receives a new dower.
This whole process may be done twice. If a man and wife go through the divorce process for a third time, whether they were reunited each time during the waiting period or after it, their divorce this time is final, in the sense that they cannot be reunited again in marriage without an intervening marriage by the woman who must be married to another man in the normal course of events. This means that to all intents and purposes the divorce is final.
If the woman receives a proposal from someone else and accepts it and marries him, her marriage must be intended for life. If, however, she gets divorced after a period of time, may be a year or may be ten years, or longer or shorter, she may return after the end of her new waiting period, to her first husband if both of them think that this time their marriage may be successful. I must emphasize here that this intervening marriage must not be arranged for this purpose, as many people unfortunately do. If it is specifically arranged for this period, and the man hired for the purpose agrees to go through it for one night or a week or whatever, everyone involved is committing a serious sin.
Moreover, such an arrangement has no effect whatsoever. In other words, the woman cannot return to her first husband on the basis of such an 'arranged' intervening marriage. Having explained the process of divorce, I should say to my first reader that his nephew may consider his divorce to be a single divorce. He can be reunited with his former wife after having a new marriage contract, since her waiting period is over.
He should tell his nephew that to divorce his wife three times on the same occasion is forbidden. Perhaps I should add that the family law of several Muslim states adopts this ruling as the standard one. By doing so, the scholars who have codified the family have given due consideration to what serves the interests of the Muslim community and the fact that many people pronounce three divorces at the same time out of total ignorance. His nephew should not be confused by the two rulings and let him not think that to follow fiqh is different from following the Qur'an and the sunnah.
Badshah Mamun:
Divorce: When a three-time divorce is binding
Question :
Many of us felt a great relief when we read your reply, explaining that a divorce pronounced three or more times in one session is counted as one revocable divorce.
1. The relief comes from the fact that it is common practice in our part of the world to pronounce divorce three times together, which has resulted in many a broken homes. However, it is mentioned by scholars that all four schools of thought are unanimous in considering a divorce pronounced three times as three divorces, which renders the break of the marriage irreparable. Please comment in detail.
2. It is common practice that a man casts his wife by pronouncing the word of divorce three times. It is often true that this irrevocable break up of the marriage has no reason other than the husband's desire for another woman or some such silly thing. In this way, he uses the law of divorce to satisfy his whims. Could you please explain what sort of protection is given to the woman to guard against such abuse of the law?
Answer :
Any law or regulation can be subject to abuse. Unless you appoint someone to watch over every person to ensure that he abides by the letter and spirit of the law, you cannot achieve a proper adherence to the law. But Islamic laws and regulations are given the support of the very real feeling which Islam implants in the mind of every one of its followers that Allah watches over him or her. When we realize that Allah knows our intentions and the real reasons behind our actions, we feel that we must always watch out. We must never abuse Allah's law or be guilty of any wrongdoing. As people who believe in the Oneness of Allah and in the message of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) we know that we have to face a detailed reckoning on the Day of Judgment, when we have to answer for every action that we may make in this life. It is the total sum of what we have done in life and the net result of our good actions set against our bad ones that determines our destiny in the life to come.
As believers we know that heaven and hell are a reality and that we must do our best to ensure our admission into heaven. Therefore, we must always guard against doing injustice to anyone, particularly those whom we are required to look after and to whom we are supposed to bring happiness, i.e. our wives and close relatives. The other safeguard is the fact that in a Muslim community, women are properly looked after either by their husbands or by male members of their families, such as their fathers, brothers or uncles.
In addition, if we are good believers and know that following the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) brings us the greatest reward of all, namely, that Allah is pleased with us, we should work hard to implement the Prophet's teachings in our lives. The Prophet has repeatedly emphasized that we must take good care of our women. To take good care of one's wife cannot be accomplished by abusing the law of divorce in order to get rid of her, or "cast her away" as you say.
In order to understand the difference, you should know that there are two types of divorce in Islam, one is called sunni, which means it is done according to what has been stipulated in the Sunnah; the other kind is called bid'i, which means it has been done in a different way contrary to the Sunnah of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). A sunni divorce means that a husband divorces his wife once at a time she is not menstruating or in a period of purity that no sexual intercourse were held. A bid'i divorce means the husband divorces his wife in a situation opposite to what has been stated in the sunni divorce, such as during menstruation.
Divorcing a wife thrice in one sitting is considered a bid'i divorce. That is why Muslim scholars have held different views on whether such divorce counts or not, and if it does count, does it count as revocable or irrevocable divorce. The majority of scholars said that a triple divorce counts as once, because it is reported that a man came to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and told him that he had divorced his wife three times. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) told him that one of them had been considered and the rest been disregarded.
May I now turn to the other point of divorcing one's wife three times in the same session. I have explained several times that this is forbidden. When the Prophet heard that one of his companions did this, he expressed extreme anger and addressed the Muslim community, saying: "Will Allah's book be trifled with when I am still alive among you?" He described a divorce pronounced three times in the same session as "trifling with Allah's Book." There can be no greater emphasis that such an action is absolutely forbidden. Yet people do it all the time.
I am afraid that many are under the false impression that unless they pronounce the word of divorce three times together, the divorce does not take effect. Therefore, this comes as a result of ignorance. The question is whether what people do, pronouncing the word of divorce three times in quick succession, or in one session, or on the same day, counts three divorces as the four schools of thought say, or counts as one divorce, as I have explained on more than one occasion.
Before answering this question let me point out three very important facts:
First, a verdict may be accepted by a large number of highly prominent scholars, including, the founders of the four schools of thought, yet it may be supported by less weighty evidence than an opposite verdict which may be advocated by a smaller number of scholars. If we find that evidence supporting the view of the minority weightier, then we do not hesitate to accept that opinion, because no one, a scholar or others, of even the highest eminence, is immune from making a mistake or giving a judgment which relies on a misunderstanding, etc.
All our scholars agree that no opinion of any person is to be taken in preference to an authentic Hadith. Even the founders of the four schools of thought have expressed this view very clearly. Imam Al-Shaf'ie says: "If I say something and you find an authentic Hadith saying something different, then take the Hadith and leave my opinion aside."
The second point is that when there is more than one verdict in relation to a particular question, a person in my position, having to answer people's queries and explain what people should do in order to earn Allah's pleasure, should not leave his readers in a position of confusion. He must tell them the view that he believes to be the correct one, as supported by the weightier evidence. If any reader decides that he wants to take the other view, he is free to do so, but he should make his decision based on a proper understanding of the evidence relevant to the question on hand.
Thirdly, if the leader of a Muslim community chooses a verdict which is supported by good and weighty evidence and decides that this is the one to be implemented by the courts of law, he must be obeyed provided that he is only acting in the best interests of the community.
Those who consider that a divorce pronounced three times in succession, or in one session, or written down on the same piece of paper counts as three divorces rely on a ruling by Umar ibn Al-Khattab who, as a ruler of the Islamic state, enforced that piece of regulation. He justified it by saying: "People have precipitated something in which they have been given relief, it may be appropriate to enforce what they have precipitated."
So he enforced it. It is clear from this statement that Umar meant this as a punishment befitting the misbehavior of people who precipitate the irrevocability of divorce by divorcing their wives three times in succession. In other words, he was saying that "People want that irrevocability to take place immediately, then let them have it."
The companions of the Prophet who were alive at that time accepted Umar's view, because they felt that the punishment was appropriate. Later scholars have taken this as a unanimous verdict by the companions of the Prophet and include it in their books as the appropriate ruling. The fact that it was merely a punishment is the acknowledgment implied in Umar's own statement that people have already been granted a relief, but they still precipitate the ultimate result.
It is only appropriate to ask what that relief is. The answer is contained in the authentic Hadith included in this report by Abdullah ibn Abbas: Rukanah ibn Abdyazid divorced his wife three times in the same place, and then he was full of grief of having done so. Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) asked him: "How did you divorce her?" Rukanah said: "I have divorced her thrice." The Prophet asked him: "In one session?" He answered: "Yes." The Prophet said: "That is one divorce, and you may return to her if you wish." He revoked the divorce and remarried her."
This Hadith tells us that the Prophet himself gave the ruling that a divorce pronounced three times in a succession, or in one place counts only as one divorce. It is well known that a remarriage between a divorced couple can take place if the divorce is taking effect for the first or second time. Indeed, this was the ruling enforced by the Prophet throughout his life, and also enforced throughout the reign of Abu-Bakr and the early period of the reign of Umar. All companions of the Prophet who were alive in that period were unanimous in their acceptance of such a divorce as a single divorce.
This ruling, as I have mentioned earlier, is one adopted by a number of renowned scholars, including Imam Ibn Taimiyah and Imam Ibn Al Qayyum. Earlier in this century, when the family law in several countries was enacted, scholars who were entrusted with the task of formulating the Islamic teachings in a well coded family law chose this ruling as the correct one and incorporated in that family law. It was then endorsed by the ruler. As such, it takes a much stronger effect.
From a totally different point of view, it is well known that in Islam, when a person says to his wife that she is divorced, intending a termination of his marriage to her, she begins the procedure of divorce [and her waiting period] immediately. She is, technically speaking, a divorcee, but she is observing a waiting period.
When he says the same thing to her a second time, whether immediately or a short while afterwards, his statement is no more than an idle talk because she is no longer his wife. How is it possible to divorce a woman who is not one's wife? That is certainly impossible and, therefore, the second and any subsequent utterances of the word of divorce have no significance whatsoever.
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