Faculty of Humanities and Social Science > English

English Class Room Jokes

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Shampa Iftakhar:
1.
TEACHER : Fred, your ideas are like diamonds.
FRED: You mean they're so valuable?
TEACHER: No, I mean they're so rare.

Shampa Iftakhar:
2.
TEACHER: Fred, the story you handed in called "Our Dog," is exactly like your brother's.
FRED: Of course. It's the same dog.

Shampa Iftakhar:
3.
TEACHER: Your poem is the worst in the class. It's not only ungrammatical, it's rude and in bad taste. I'm going to send your father a note about it.
PUPIL: I don't think that would help, teacher. He wrote it.

Shampa Iftakhar:
4.
TEACHER: What are you writing?
PUPIL: A letter to myself.
TEACHER: What does it say?
PUPIL: I don't know. I won't get it till tomorrow.

Shampa Iftakhar:
5.
TEACHER: Where is your pencil, Harmon?
PUPIL: I ain't got none.
TEACHER: How many times have I told you not to say that, Harmon? Now listen: I do not have a pencil. You do not have a pencil. They do not have a pencil. Now, do you understand?
PUPIL: Not really. What happened to all the pencils?

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