Bengali Hindu Wedding

[qnruma]

Bengali Hindu Wedding

Arranging the wedding
A traditional wedding is arranged by Ghotoks (matchmakers), who are generally friends or relatives of the couple. The matchmakers facilitate the introduction, and also help agree the amount of any settlement.
Bengali weddings are traditionally in four parts: the bride's Gaye Holud, the groom's Gaye Holud, the Beeye and the Bou Bhaat. These often take place on separate days. The first event in a wedding is an informal one: the groom presents the bride with a ring marking the "engagement", a system which is gaining popularity. This can sometimes be considered as Ashirwaad.
There can be subtle differences in Bengali Hindu marriages in West Bengal and Bangladesh. The rituals sometimes differ. In Paaka Katha (final talk), the parents of the bride/groom, along with one or two very close relatives/friends go to the other party's house to formally settle the marriage. It may be followed by a lunch / dinner.
A Bengali Hindu Marriage can be divided into the following parts:
•   Pre-wedding Rituals: Adan Pradan, Patri Patra, Ashirvad, Aai Budo Bhaat, Vridhi, Dodhi Mangal, Holud Kota, Adhibas Tatva, Kubi Patta, Snan, Sankha Porano
•   Wedding Rituals: Bor Boron, Potto Bastra, Saat Paak, Mala Badal, Subho Drishti, Sampradan, Yagna, Saat Pak (couple), Anjali, Sindur Daan and Ghomta
•   Post-Wedding Rituals: Bashar Ghar, Bashi Biye, Bidaye, Bou Boron, Kaal Ratri, Bou Bhaat, Phool Sajja, Dira Gaman
Pre-Wedding Rituals
Ashirbaad - On an auspicious day the elders of the groom's side go to bless the bride and vice versa, by sprinkling husked rice and trefoil on their heads and giving them gold ornaments. It is a kind of acceptance of the boy and the girl on both sides.
Gaye Holud - A ceremony in which five or seven married women of the household grind turmeric with mortar and pestle and anoint the bride with turmeric paste. This brightens up the bride's complexion and makes her skin glow. Gaye Holud is also celebrated on groom's side.
Dodhi Mongol - At dawn on the day of marriage seven married ladies adorn the bride's hands with the traditional bangles Shakha and Paula - one pair of red and one pair of white bangles, and feed her a meal of curd and rice, nowadays other dishes as well, the only meal after which the bride and her parents fast the whole day.
Main wedding rituals
Bor Jatri - The members of the groom's house as well as his friends dress in their best attire and journey to the bride's house where the wedding takes place.
Bor Boron - When the bor jatri reaches the bride's place, usually the mother of the bride along with other members come out to welcome the groom and his family by showing the holy earthen lamp, sprinkling trefoil, and husked rice placed on a bamboo winnow (kula). Then they are served sweets and drinks.
Potto Bastra - After the groom is seated at the chadnatolla (wedding altar and canopy) - the sanctum sanctorum where only the groom, bride and the priest takes their place, the groom is offered new clothes by the person who is to do the sampradaan - the elderly male member of the family who does sampradan offers the responsibility of the girl to the groom
Saat Paak - The bride, usually seated on a low wooden stool called pidi is lifted by her brothers and is taken round the groom in seven complete circles. The significance is they are winded up securely to each other.
Mala Badal - After the circles are completed, still sitting high on the piri, the bride and the groom exchange garlands of fragrant flowers thrice. This is the first step in which they accept each other.
Subho Dristi - After garlanding one another the bride and the groom are made to look at each other in front of all the assembled invitees. This exchange of loving glance is to initiate them to be together officially by the society.
Sampradan - The bride then takes her place at the chadnatolla where an elderly male member of the bride's family hands her over to the groom and the couple's hands are bound by the sacred thread amidst recital of Vedic chants and are placed on the mangal ghot - a brass pitcher filled with water that is covered with mango leaves attached to one twig and a green coconut placed on it.
Yagna - The bride and groom sit in front of the sacred fire and chant mantras after the priest. Agni, the fire god is made the divine witness to the marriage. See Vedic marriage.
Saptapadi - Seven circular rounds are taken by the couple around the fire thereby solemnizing the occasion.
Anjali - An offering to the fire is made. The bride's brother puts puffed rice (khoi) in the hands of the bride, and the groom standing close to her holds her hands from the back and extends their arms forward. They then pour the offering into the fire together.
Sindoor Daan and Ghomta - Once again seated at their respective places in chadnatolla the groom applies sindoor or vermilion (a symbol of marriage worn by Hindu women thereafter) on the bride's hair-parting. The bride then covers her head with a new sari offered by the groom as ghomta or veil.
Post-Wedding Rituals
Bidaay - This is a farewell - mixed moment of joy and sorrow as the bride is bid adieu with blessings of her parents and relatives to start a new life with her beau.
Kaal Ratri - After the couple reaches the groom's house and the initial welcome ceremony is over they are separated for the night, probably to get a refreshing sleep and prepare for the next day's final wedding ceremony.
Bou Bhaat & Bodhu Boron - The girl cooks and serves all the members of her husband's family. A banquet is held to treat the guests who lavish gifts on the new bride.
Phool Shojja - The couple and their bed are adorned with flowers and are left together in their room to enjoy conjugal bliss.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bengali_Hindu_wedding

[sadique]

[chhanda]

like all the steps of Hindu wedding .... faced all the steps 

[R B Habib]

What about Bashi biye? Does it take place in groom's home?

[sadique]

Before any ceremonies begin there must be an in-depth look at the ancestral lineage of both groom and bride (Bangsas). This is to make sure that there are no links between families (Gotra). The Purohit, which is the priest, must be present in this ritual to make sure there has been no crossing of the lineage in order to give proper blessing to the bride and groom during the ceremony.  After it has been discovered that both families have not crossed lines (being wed to a family member), the Patri Patra will take place.

The Purohit will arrive at the home of either the groom, then the bride (or vice-versa).  With him will be an idol of Lord Narayana.
Once he performs his ritual with the bridegroom or bride, the family will bless the other in the presence of him. This concludes the Patri Patra.
statuette of Lord Narayana

statuette of Lord Narayana

The day before the wedding, is devoted to the ancestors of the two families, this is called Virdhi Puja. A festive day filled with remembrance and a touch of color through Rangoli all the while worshiping Lord Narayana.  An uncle of the bride or groom must conduct the Virdhi Puja, if you want to stay devoted to tradition. During this time it is also believed that fasting on a liquid diet will be the offering to Narayana in an attempt make sure the couple obtains the most prosperity.

Care to wake up at dawn? Well in this ceremony (Dodhi Mangal) the day of the wedding starts exactly at dawn with the bride and groom bathing in water fetched from a local pond or lake. The water can only be taken out of the pond /lake by ten married women, ensuring the bride and groom a secure and positive unity as the water they bath in comes from women who have solid marriages. As the bathing is complete the lavish feast begins. The liquid fasting is complete and now the couple can indulge their taste buds with fried fish, rice, and much more.

Prior to the brides turmeric ceremony the grooms’ family sends gifts to her home (Gae Halud Tattva).  These gifts are a mixture of fruits, sweets, fish, paan, rice, durba, and six saris for the bride and her mother.  A relative is chosen from the grooms’ family to bring these gifts. He/she approaches the brides’ home with a large gathering of family to bestow these gifts upon the bride. The servants are welcomed by the brides’ family with the blowing of conch shells, and thus rewarded sweets for their journey. The bride then repeats the ritual by sending gifts to the groom.  These gifts Mirror the Halud Tattva and the ceremony is called Adhibas Tattva.
Paan leaf

Paan leaf

paan1

In the early to mid afternoon the couple will be given yet another scared bath (Snan), but this one will be done individually.  This ritual is performed by a few of the married women from either side of the family; they will apply turmeric and oil to the hair and body of the bride and groom.  Once this is complete the families will hand the bride/groom new clothes to wear as this signifies new beginnings. It is also customary for the bride to wear conch shell bangles once she has put on her new sari.

As the actual ceremony begins the groom and his family approach the brides home. Once they have arrived at the door the blowing of conch shells begins as the brides’ family welcomes him.  When he approaches the door an elderly woman from the brides’ side blesses the baraan dala, and proceeds to escort him to the mandap (wedding canopy adorned with flowers, and fruits and pillared by banana trees. Its thought that the planting of two banana trees will promote a prosperous life and help give blessings for a fertile marriage). The Shubho Drishti Ritual is now able to commence.

The bride is carried to the Mandap while sitting on her Piri (a chair that has been decorated). But she is not allowed to view her husband just yet, so she must cover her eyes with a Betel leaf. Prior to being placed in front of her husband, she is rotated 7 times. At this point she is able to peek at her husband as they are now face to face for the first time during the ceremony.  This concludes the Shubho Drishti Ritual, but begins the Mala Badal Ceremony.  While the Purohit is busy chanting the ritual to begin the wedding ceremony the bride and groom exchange flowers three times. This marks the first time they would have laid eyes on each other.

Saat Paak & Sampradhan is the last process of the actual wedding. The bride is lifted by her brothers and given away by her uncle. While carrying her, they walk around her husband 7 times to signify their unity. This takes place as her husband starts to chant along with the Purohit. Once this is complete they are now man and wife.

The next set of rituals happens over the span of a few days, the first being the Bidaai. As the woman is now expected to leave her maternal home she does so with great sorrow. This ritual is very deep. As the woman leaves the home throwing rice behind her to signify she has paid back all her debts to her parents and wishes them prosperity, it also is a statement to them that she must go to be prosperous with her new husband.

Once the bride has left her maternal home the rituals continue.  Before she can step foot in her new home with her husband she must dip her feet in a Thali that is filled with milk and red dye. Once her feet have marked the floor of her new home, her sister-in law (or a woman relative of the groom) will hand her red and ivory bangles. Upon accepting those as gifts she will also receive a metal bangle that she will wear for the rest of her life. These gifts symbolize her new union as a married woman (Basar Ghar).

The following morning the couple returns to the mandap where they meet with the Purohit. Together they prey to the Sun God (this is known as the Bashi Biye).  There are a few more traditions that take place to help the new bride feel comfortable in her new home, and to make sure the new union is filled with prosperity and happiness.

http://blog.myweddingisover.com/tag/bashi-biye/

[Muhammed Rashedul Hasan]

Good one