1. Take time to accept death --- Facing and accepting death remains a necessary condition for continuing our own life.
2. Take time to let go --- Letting go means adjusting to a new reality in which the deceased is no longer present. Letting go occurs when we are able to accept whatever feelings --- anger, guilt, fear, sadness --- that accompany death. Letting go occurs when we are able to tolerate the feelings, to wait, trust, and hope again.
3. Take time to make decisions --- It is important that the bereaved be patient with themselves and gradually make decisions as a way to control and sustain self-worth. But it is wise to postpone major decisions.
4. Take time to share --- The greatest need of the bereaved is to have someone share their pain, their memories, their sadness.
5. Take time to believe --- For many people, religion offers a comforting and strengthening base in the lonely encounter with helplessness and hopelessness.
6. Take time to forgive --- We need to accept our imperfections, not torture ourselves for the things we did or did not do.
7. Take time to feel good about yourself --- Exploring new interests, developing hobbies, and taking advantage of new opportunities are all activities designed to help the bereaved reinvest their energies in new endeavors.
8. Take time to meet new friends --- Healing occurs when we move out of our safe boundaries and interact with other. New friends will be there to offer opportunities. Join a support group, a club, or take a class.
9. Take time to laugh --- Laughter helps us survive and re-enter.
10. Take time to give --- The best way to overcome loneliness and grief is to be concerned about the pain of others. If we find someone who needs us, that will be our opportunity for healing. Get involved with others.
