Seven Ways to Minimize Our Anger
I am a firm believer in the "tell the truth now, tell the truth later" method of living a successful life. Truth is authentic, clean, and it just simply feels right. We have a great method of discernment for catching when people are telling the truth, including ourselves, and it's our feelings. So the best way to overcome anger is to tell the truth about it. If that feels right, then you are on the right path. You don't have to agree with these steps for them to work well for you either. And know that it isn't that anger doesn't come up for all of us, it does. But what we can do is reduce the amount of time we're in the state of anger, because for most of us, we'd rather be some other place! Here is a brief list of ways to do that:
1) Breathe, in the moment of anger, and relax as much as you can, and then tell the truth to others and to yourself, when you are angry. The sheer physical trigger of breathing deeper always helps. It reminds us to get out of our heads and into our bodies.
2) Tell the truth now, tell the truth later. Truth is, when we're angry, we're angry. And then what happens? We begin to justify our anger through thoughts. "Well, wouldn't you be angry if that happened?" Might be, might not be. But truth is you are.
3) Ask yourself all the time, "Am I willing?" A simple question with profound results. Am I willing to let go, to give up my anger, and to see it for the indicator of something I desire to control with that anger? And tell the truth about this. If it's no, great, if it's yes, great, your power is always in the truth.
4) Also ask yourself with regard to your anger, "What does being angry mean?" Well, what does it mean to you? Usually when we are angry, what happens is that we resist that anger, and to resist something is to have it continue, because the Universal Law operating here is that "what you resist, persists." So, what are you resisting that is persisting? Truth? Well, truth is, when you are angry, you are angry, and what that means is that you are angry. Anything else we add to that is value added.
5) Truth is, what makes you angry, doesn't necessarily make anyone else angry. We all have our buttons, and our partners didn't install them, they only push them. If they weren't there in the first place, they wouldn't get pushed! Or our kids push them, or we push them, or someone somewhere will manage to push them. That's because they're sticking out so far!
6) When our buttons get pushed it is a signal that we want something to change. Most people immediately think that what we want to change is something outside of ourselves, or that which is "making" us angry. But it isn't! The signal for us is that we want to change something inside of ourselves, and that's the tough part to face. But the good news is, it's us who want to change ourselves, and that's an easier fact to deal with than when others desire to change us.
7) And finally, at least for this article, seek support. That's right. People who live successful lives, don't do it alone. For whatever your particular anger is over, seek support from those who have been through it themselves, and then successfully navigated the rocky path of anger. Nothing works as well as experience.
Here's to your success!
TB Wright is the coursework creator of The One Penny Millionaire!â„¢ a thirty week online seminar designed for your success.