Dark night! I am sitting beside my window. Its 2.30 am now. Usually, I don’t sit here at this time because I feel bad. This dark view brings a dark scene in my mind - my father quarrels with my mother and beats her every now and then. They had huge wealth but on the other hand, their inner minds were so narrow. They always kept busy with themselves. They didn’t have enough time to take care of me and I brought up carelessly on the lap of our home maid. From then I introduced with dark. But I cannot be able to reach so close to dark. It always frightens me. But I’m feeling different tonight. The breeze blows my mind so cheerfully. I am very happy now. But I can’t find any source of my unknown feeling. I take a sip of my favorite drink. I thought it will work because I took many of my important decisions after taking this. I don’t feel any disturbance after taking this. It has been with me for long eight years. I chose it to avoid the everyday quarrel between my parents. I never know how much time I am taking to find the source of my happiness. Suddenly my eyes go towards the lady who is lying on my bed. How nicely she lies. I feel attracted whenever I see her. She embraces one of the pillows with her two arms and some of her hairs are lying on her face. it extends her beauty. It has been five years we are together but we didn’t marry. Actually, we didn’t get enough time to get married. Yaba, heroin and other drugs kept me far to marry her. But it's not a big deal. We are happy. We love each other and it is the main thing. But I don’t understand why she is looking so tired tonight. Maybe she is working hard nowadays. Sleep soft, beloved.
Suddenly I look at the calendar, I feel extremely happy when I see the date because I have found the source of my happiness. Today we are going to marry. Last night we have taken the decision. How can I forget it so early? What’s wrong with me? It seems I am losing my memory every minute. Although doctors have said that something like that will happen. Tonight I want to see the lady who is lying on our bed. I won’t disturb her. I’ll just see her beauty. She looks as innocent as a newborn baby. I am fascinated by her innocence. All pasts are floating in my eyes.
I was then a young man of 20 years. I was surrounded by drugs every day. Before the class, after the class, in music class, with friends I was busy with drugs. Even at home, I secretly took drugs to find peace. My home seemed hell to me. That time these drugs were my closest friends. I was enclosed by the fence called drugs. Those were my only companion. I can’t even see any girl in an amorous way. I fell in love with drugs.
One day I reached home late and found my parents are quarreling with each other. It would be very normal to me but I was exhausted that day. I was refused from different music companies from releasing a song of me. They called it was a rubbish. What nonsense. They didn’t know about music actually. I insulted them with rough words and left the place angrily. I was so depressed then and I didn’t know what to do. And when I found them quarreling I become so angry and break some of the furniture and leave home. I decided to leave the place for forever. I didn’t find any peace in my home. It was getting worse to me. Rather than I was happy with my best friends. The drugs.
After leaving home I took shelter in my friend’s home. Nirob, such a nice boy and very helpful. He was lonely in the city. He had a home of his home in Old Dhaka. His family left Dhaka two years back and permanently settled in the USA. He is living here to complete his graduation. After six months he will also fly to his parents.
Thinking about this I thought his home will be safe for me. When I requested him he agreed. From the mid of the year, I started living in my friend’s home. I concluded my study because it was not possible for me to continue. I kept myself busy in making jingle of the different TV commercial. It was my good luck that my friend gave many opportunities to make jingle of different TVC. By this, I earned money for myself. It was enough for me.
To be continued ...
