Note: “Coherence and Cohesion” contributes to the 25% marks in your IELTS Writing exam.
Coherence = logical, Cohesion = connected.
Tips for IELTS Writing TASK 2 considering Coherence & Cohesion:
Use transitional words (In addition, however)
Each paragraph MUST contain one central idea. In our sample answer, Body paragraph 1 talks about the problems, body paragraph 2 talks about the solutions.
Always include directions. For example, "To conclude" tells the reader that this paragraph is your last paragraph of your essay.
Please have a look to the following sample answer. This answer might get 7+ in Grammar, Vocabulary and Task Response marking criteria, but unluckily will end up receiving 5 or even below in Coherence and Cohesion.
TASK 2:
The consumption of the world’s resources (oil, and water etc.) is increasing at a dangerous rate. What are the causes and possible solutions?
Answer: (Band 5 in Coherence and Cohesion marking criterion)
Natural resources have been depleting in an alarming trend over the years, which is detrimental to the eco-system. The primary factors contribute to this phenomenon & a few possible solutions will be discussed in this essay.
First, overpopulation leads to a higher usage of all possible resources available, eventually making the nature vulnerable. For example, more electricity, which is produced from fossil fuel e.g. coal or oil, is required to fulfill the demand of the ever-increasing masses. The rapid growth of industries is developing devastating effects on the environment. Land, forests are taken for the sake of building more industries, apparently causing deforestation. Public and private transportation systems are exploiting petrol and diesel to drive the engine.
Governments and/or industries may introduce alternate uses of energy, namely renewable energy. Wind and solar power can be exhausted - instead of coal - to produce electricity. International and national authorities would come forward. Even World Wildlife Fund can implement different conservationist policies (e.g. how much of the local water can be used by nearby companies) in the pertinent sensitive arena with the help of the establishments at the local and federal levels. The utilization of the resources in Earth should be controlled to enable a better future for the forthcoming generations.
To develop a sustainable community, jurisdictions and communities must work together to regulate and ensure the optimum use of scarce resources like minerals and oils and restore natural properties wherever possible.
Lets analyze the answer from Coherence and Cohesion perspective
TASK 2: The consumption of the world’s resources (oil, and water etc.) is increasing at a dangerous rate. What are the causes and possible solutions?
Answer: (what's wrong??)
Natural resources have been depleting in an alarming trend over the years, which is detrimental to the eco-system. The primary factors contribute to this phenomenon & a few possible solutions will be discussed in this essay.
[Body paragraph 1 must start with a generic sentence mentioning the title/idea for that paragraph.] To begin with, there are two main reasons behind this. First, overpopulation leads to a higher usage of all possible resources available, eventually making the nature vulnerable. For example, more electricity, which is produced from fossil fuel e.g. coal or oil, is required to fulfill the demand of the ever-increasing masses. Furthermore, the rapid growth of industries is developing devastating effects on the environment. Land, forests are taken for the sake of building more industries, apparently causing deforestation. Public and private transportation systems are exploiting petrol and diesel to drive the engine. [This sentence does not make sense here]
To mitigate the problem, governments and/or industries may introduce alternate uses of energy, namely renewable energy. Wind and solar power, for instance, can be exhausted - instead of coal - to produce electricity [You may write "for instance" in the middle of a sentence to bring some variety!]. In addition, international and national authorities would come forward. Even World Wildlife Fund can implement different conservationist policies (e.g. how much of the local water can be used by nearby companies) in the pertinent sensitive arena with the help of the establishments at the local and federal levels.
The utilization of the resources in Earth should be controlled to enable a better future for the forthcoming generations. [This sentence fits to the conclusion, NOT in the solution paragraph] To develop a sustainable community, jurisdictions and communities must work together to regulate and ensure the optimum use of scarce resources like minerals and oils and restore natural properties wherever possible.
Finally, a better answer below:
TASK 2:
The consumption of the world’s resources (oil, and water etc.) is increasing at a dangerous rate. What are the causes and possible solutions?
Answer (Band 7.5)
Natural resources have been depleting in an alarming trend over the years, which is detrimental to eco-system. The primary factors contribute to this phenomenon and a few possible solutions will be discussed in this essay.
To begin with, there are two main reasons behind this. First, overpopulation leads to a higher usage of all possible resources available, eventually making the nature vulnerable. For example, more electricity, which is produced from fossil fuel e.g. coal or oil, is required to fulfill the demand of the ever-increasing masses. Furthermore, the rapid growth of industries is developing devastating effects on the environment. Example can be seen in the scenario when land and forests are taken for the sake of building more industries, apparently causing deforestation.
To mitigate the problem, governments and/or industries may introduce alternate uses of energy, namely renewable energy. Wind and solar power, for instance, can be exhausted - instead of coal - to produce electricity. In addition, international and national authorities would come forward. Even World Wildlife Fund can implement different conservation policies (e.g. how much of the local water can be used by nearby companies) in the pertinent sensitive arena with the help of the establishments at the local and federal levels.
To conclude, the utilization of the resources in Earth should be controlled to enable a better future for the forthcoming generations. To develop a sustainable community, jurisdictions and communities must work together to regulate and ensure the optimum use of scarce resources like minerals and oils and restore natural properties wherever possible.
By: Tanmoy Das, IELTS Trainer at HigherStudyAbroad
