Marriage: The Golden Cage for Women
MONDAY, APRIL 10, 201747 Reads
Why marriage is or has become a golden cage for women?
From the childhood, it is a door of unlimited hopes and huge expectations for women.But after entering into the door, she considers it as a forbidden fruit. She is thrown out from heaven(her parents’ home) to down to earth. Sooner or later she realizes that. She is now tagged with someone. She is no more the virgin angel or apple of eye before her wooers. Yes, as man is in higher degree than angel, she is in a higher stage as a married woman than a single girl. How much higher is decided by the qualification of her husband’s, not hers.
But why this is “Golden” cage? Golden comes from gold. The gold is a very crucial thing for measuring her value as a bride. Questions arise like: how much did she get from her parents? How much from the in-laws? The gold as a property turns into the propriety that she wears after her marriage. Though she thought it the symbol of love or status before marriage, it is the chain she wears in. This gold turns herself to a property to her husband. If any piece of it is lost, it is considered as omen for her conjugal life.
Now I am answering why the term “cage” comes in. Never think that it means marriage is creating barrier in her life. It is cage for those who makes it a cage for her. After marriage she considers herself a different person. A different “I” has come into her. She bounds herself in the love of her husband and in the social decorum or tradition which is imposed on her as her mother or other female relatives are maintaining them as the rule for hundreds of years. She can’t break through it. Her compromises starts from the small wishes and reaches to the bigger dreams. She changes her dream as she change her address. She changes her skin like changing dresses. Her skin should be thicker now as she has to tolerate the negative words from her new family members. She need to wear new mask as she need to hide her tears and show smiling face. She need to be grateful always to her husband and submissive too. She can’t raise her voice of objection, even for any unjust decision. She may not get appreciation or even recognition for her work but she should always be on service. She should wear the shoes of her husband and follow her footsteps. If she can’t play the role properly, she will be humiliated everywhere. Being different, being outspoken is a sin to her. She needs to row her boat on upstream but not downstream.
All these can be true for women from either rich or poor classes, from either educated or uneducated people, for either rural or urban women, for either women with child or without child. Women are taken for granted for some men. They think if they want they can leave one and get another. If things go wrong, the last thing that woman think about is divorce. Even if the husband forces her, she avoids it by her all means. She rather compromise from her best and makes her expectation level zero. Being s divorcee is like being untouchable in the society. The women may be brave enough to do any risky job in her profession. But she is mostly frightened by being the issue of gossip to the other women. She rather consider to run the conjugal life somehow. May be she is higher in position than her husband but she is always bound to lower her place beside her husband if she wants peace. But some women get the right proportion of love, respect and care from their husband the the things mentioned above don’t happen to them.They are lucky indeed.
