Improve Your Life With Inner Detachment

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Offline Badshah Mamun

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Improve Your Life With Inner Detachment
« on: May 14, 2012, 05:55:10 PM »

Improve Your Life With Inner Detachment
By Remez Sasson

Are you quick to get angry?
Are you easily affected by what people say or think about you?
Do your moods go up and down often?
Can an insignificant, unpleasant incident destroy your whole day?
Are you happy with this situation? Probably not!
The good news is that by developing some inner detachment, you can change this situation.

Most people allow external influences affect their moods and behavior, and do nothing to stop this state of affairs. Being emotionally affected by external situations and by what people say or do, often brings needless unhappiness, anger and suffering. Yet, most people do not do anything about this state of affairs, because they regard it as a natural part of life.

Imagine how free, relieved and happy you would be, if you could stay calm and poised in the midst of whatever is happening in your life. Think how much physical, emotional and mental energy you could spare, if you were able to avoid being upset, angry or moody.

Emotional agitation, anger and hurt feelings bring a lot of distress and lead nowhere, except to more pain, suffering and broken relationships. They disturb your mind, disrupt your concentration, and prevent you from focusing on the matters at hand. If you wish to enjoy inner peace, it is imperative that you try to gain at least some degree of inner detachment.

Possessing inner detachment does not mean that your life will be worry-free, and that nothing will ever disturb your inner poise. You will still encounter disturbing circumstances and disturbing people, however, your attitude toward them, and the way you react, would change.

To understand what I am talking about, let's look at the following scenario:

Jim and his wife Suzan planned on going out to meet some friends at a restaurant. A few minutes before leaving home, one of their children dropped a dish to the floor and broke it down. Suzan got angry and yelled at him, and then started picking up the pieces and sweeping the floor.

Meanwhile, Jim was waiting impatiently for his wife to finish cleaning up, so that they could go out. When they finally left home, they both were tense and nervous. On top of all this, they were stuck in traffic jam, which made them more short tempered. When they finally arrived to the restaurant, they were exhausted, moody and uncomfortable for being late.

Does this scenario ring a bell? Well, maybe it is a bit exaggerated, but everyone goes through similar disturbing situations every single day, when rushing to work in the morning, and your children have all the time in the world, when having something urgent to do, and a friend just keeps talking and talking, or when someone at work or on the street mistreats you.

Let's now look at a different scenario. Let's suppose that Jim and Suzanne are able to display some emotional detachment. With such a frame of mind, they would have calmly handled the incident with the broken plate, cleaning the floor and the traffic jam, without letting their emotions heat up and control their behavior and moods.

The ability to maintain a calm and poised mind, and avoid being upset by external situations is called inner detachment. This ability does not change the external situation, but it allows you to act and react without involving needless inner turmoil and heated emotions, which often cloud the judgment and waste unnecessary emotional and physical energy. Being emotionally detached enables you to evaluate every situation more clearly, and respond with common sense and poise, instead of responding with anger, moodiness or stress.

Emotional detachment does not make problems and troubling situations disappear, but it enables you to act and react calmly and with common sense, without negative feelings and moodiness. Developing inner detachment is not different from developing any other skill, and requires understanding of what detachment is, the desire to gain it and training.

The aim of this article is to let you know about inner detachment and that it can improve your life in many ways. Teaching how to gain inner detachment requires more than a short article like this. More information can be found in various articles at this website, especially in the spiritual growth and peace of mind sections.

Md. Abdullah-Al-Mamun (Badshah)
Assistant Director, Daffodil International University