Career Development Centre (CDC) > Discussion on Creative Problem Solving

Want you to be liked by others?

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irina:
Your true potential is enhanced by the sum of all the people who like you, and thus would go out of their way to assist you in a time of need. Unfortunately, there is no quick-fix guide for becoming extremely likeable. Likeability is tied deeply into some of your most stubborn, long-standing habits and behaviors.

As with conquering any major personal change, it takes time and practice. These are some of the steps that will get you there.
1. Be attentive to others and never stop listening.
Self-centered people are usually unlikable. When you're involved in a conversation, it's important to focus more on the other person and less on yourself. If you genuinely concern yourself with others and listen  to them closely, you'll make lots of friends with little effort. Remember, everybody loves a good listener.

2. Compliment people who deserve it.
Go out of your way to personally acknowledge and compliment the people who have gone out of their way to shine. Everybody likes to hear that their efforts are appreciated.

3. Make yourself available and approachable.
If people cannot get a hold of you, or have trouble approaching you, they will forget about you. Your general availability and accessibility to others is extremely important to them. Always maintain a positive, tolerant attitude and keep an open line of communication to those around you.

4. Speak clearly so people can understand you.
Most people have a very low tolerance for dealing with people they can't understand. Mystery does not fuel strong relationships and likeability.

irina:
5. Never try to be someone you're not.
All people have the subconscious ability to detect a liar. Even Academy Award winning actors slip up every now and then. Fake people are not likeable. Ask yourself this: if you don't like who you really are, why the heck should I like you?

6. Address people by their name.
People love the sight and sound of their own name, so make sure you learn to remember names. Use them respectfully in both oral and written communication.

7. Mirror the person you're conversing with.
You can mirror someone by imitating their body language, gestures, movements and facial expressions during a one- on-one conversation. The other person will unconsciously pick up on the familiarity of your mirrored actions, which will provide them with an added sense of comfort as they speak with you. The more comfortable you make them feel, the more they will enjoy being around you.

8. Always ask to help  and help when asked.
Everyone appreciates the gift of free assistance and those who supply it. Highly likeable people always spare time for others, regardless of how busy their own schedules are. Remember, helping people get what they want is the number one key to getting what you want.

goodboy:
The topic no 2 & no 6 are most important I guess!! Very useful post :)

irina:
9. Never get caught lying.
Everybody stretches the truth at times, but everyone hates a liar. Ironic, isn't it? Regardless, understand that your credibility and likeability will get crushed if you are caught telling a lie.

10. Say please and thank you.
These two simple phrases make demands sound like requests and inject a friendly tone into serious conversations. It can mean the difference between sounding rude and sounding genuinely grateful.

11. Use positive language (body and verbal).
You can use positive language skills to exhibit yourself as a helpful, constructive person rather than a destructive, disinterested one. Positive body language involves the act of maintaining eye contact while speaking, using hand gestures to accentuate important points, leaning in closer while someone else is speaking, smiling, and mirroring the person you're involved in a conversation with. Positive verbal language concentrates on what can be done, suggests helpful choices and alternatives, and sounds accommodating and encouraging rather than one-dimensionally bureaucratic.

12. Smile.
Everyone likes the sight of a genuine smile. Think about how you feel when a complete stranger looks into your eyes and smiles. Suddenly she doesn't seem like a stranger anymore, does she? Instead she seems warm and friendly, someone you wouldn't mind being around for a little while longer.

irina:
Goodboy
Are they  going to help you, by any chance?
Thank you.

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