Daffodil International University
Faculties and Departments => Faculty Sections => Faculty Forum => Topic started by: shibli on June 13, 2011, 05:19:00 PM
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Dealing with interpersonal relationships is a complex subject. The interpersonal relationships between students and teachers, teachers and other teachers, teachers and administrators, staff personnel, and parents are vital for creating a positive successful learning environment for all students.
Research indicates skills essential for effective interpersonal relationship are:
communicating and relating effectively,
empathy and respect for the feelings and views of others,
accurate self-evaluation of performance and relationships, and
conflict management using active listening skills and empathy.
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Six success elements in Relationships
It takes a combination of
Self-awareness,
Self confidence,
Positive personal impact,
Outstanding performance,
Communication skills and
Interpersonal competence to succeed in your career and life.
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Becoming self-aware is the first step to improving our interpersonal effectiveness.
Most of our behaviours are natural for us.
We aren't aware of the impact these behaviours have on others. That leaves us with "blind spots" that
others don't want to mention to us because they don't want to hurt our feelings, they are afraid of a reaction from us, or they just don't care.
Through self-awareness we learn what impact our behaviours - both positive and negative - have on others. That knowledge helps us become more effective in our interactions with others.
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Once we become self-aware we can examine and change behaviours that need changing. The option is our own. So are the consequences. When we choose to seek ways to modify our undesirable behaviours we begin the process of self-regulation. This is a conscious process through which we may ask for input from our family, trusted coworkers or friends, or a professional therapist.
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Interpersonal communication can mean the ability to relate to people in written as well as verbal communication. This type of communication can occur in both a one-on-one and a group setting. This also means being able to handle different people in different situations, and making people feel at ease.
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GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS INVOLVE
active listening,
giving and receiving criticism,
dealing with different personality types, and
nonverbal communication.
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3-Factor Model of interpersonal competence
Inter-personally competent people:
are self aware. They use this awareness to better understand others and to adapt their behaviour accordingly.
build and nurture strong, lasting, mutually beneficial relationships.
resolve conflict in a positive manner. (Bilanich)
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Interpersonal skill is a set of behaviours which allow you to communicate effectively and unambiguously in a face-to- face setting.
They can also be thought of as behaviours which assist progress towards achieving an objective.
Interpersonal relationship skills help us to relate in positive ways with our family members, colleagues and others. This may mean being able to make and keep friendly relationships as well as being able to end relationships constructively
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There are just six interpersonal skills which form a process that is applicable to all situations:
Analyzing the situation
Establishing a realistic objective
Selecting appropriate ways of behaving
Controlling your behaviour
Shaping other people's behaviour
Monitoring our own and others' behaviour
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We define types of interpersonal relationships in terms of relational contexts of interaction and the types of expectations that communicators have of one another to participate in positive, caring, and respectful relationships.
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Analyzing the situation helps us to set realistic objectives
Establishing objectives, in turn, provides the context in which to make choices about how best to behave
By being conscious of our own behaviour in working towards the achievement of objectives we are more likely to influence other people’s behaviour
Constant monitoring will provide the feedback we need to make situation-dependent adjustments
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Most people want to be understood and accepted more than anything else in the world.
Knowing this is the first step toward good communication. Good communication has two basic components:
You listen to and acknowledge other people's thoughts and feelings: Rather than showing that you only care about broadcasting your feelings and insisting that others agree with you, you encourage others to express what they are thinking and feeling. You listen and try to understand.
You express your own thoughts and feelings openly and directly: If you only listen to what other people are thinking or feeling and you don't express your own thoughts or feelings, you end up feeling shortchanged or "dumped on."
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There are four styles of communication:
passive
aggressive
passive-aggressive
assertive
Passive communication involves the inability or unwillingness to express thoughts and feelings. Passive people will do something they don't want to do or make up an excuse rather than say how they feel.
The aggressive style of communication involves overreaction, blaming and criticizing. Aggressive people try to get their way through bullying, intimidating or even physical violence. They do not or will not consider the rights of others.
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Passive-aggressive is a combination of the first two styles - they avoid confrontations (passive), but will be manipulative to get what they want (aggressive). Passive-aggressive people will sometimes use facial expressions that don't match how they feel, i.e. smiling when angry.
Assertive behaviour involves standing up for oneself. Assertive people will say what they think and stand up for their beliefs without hurting others.
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Assertiveness, or confrontation, means taking the initiative or first steps to deal with a problem in a constructive, self-protective manner. Assertiveness attacks the problem, not the person.
Aggressiveness attacks the other person rather than the problem. It is a destructive desire to dominate another person or to force a position or viewpoint on another person; it starts fights or quarrels.
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Aggressive Communicator: Get to the point right away. Speak directly and clearly. Since aggressive types can be brutally honest and sometimes inconsiderate, it is important to take what they say with a grain of salt. Usually their criticism and confrontational matter isn't meant to be taken personally.
Passive Communicator: It can be particularly frustrating to talk to a passive communicator because they may seem to not have any opinion of their own. Though it may be frustrating, avoid being pushy or confrontational. Passive communicators just need time to feel comfortable with others.
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Passive-Aggressive Communicator: Just as passive-aggressive communicators are a combination of two styles, an approach to them must be a combination as well. Recognize that talking to them might be frustrating like with the passive communicator (since they avoid conflict), but it also important to not take anything they say or do personally (like with the aggressive types), because it may conflict with what they say.
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Many causes of conflict arise due to miscommunication.
Once you understand your own communication style pitfalls, you can correct them and communicate more effectively.
Remember “Aggression breeds Aggressionâ€!
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Conflict occurs in situations in which there is opposition. Opposition occurs when a solution cannot be found in a disagreement.
Conflict is a disagreement through which the parties involved perceive a threat to their needs, well-being, interests or concerns.
Perceive a threat can be physical, emotional, power, status, intellectual, etc.
Conflict is healthy and a normal part of any human relationship.
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Conflict resolution involves identifying areas of agreement and areas of compromise so that a solution to the disagreement or conflict occurs.
There are five methods to handle conflict:
Running away
Being obliging to the other party
Defeating the other party
Winning a little/ losing a little
Co-operating
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Resolving conflict is an art of communication.
Use interpersonal communication skills.
Tips for resolving conflicts
Make sure that you remain calm at all times.
Speak with a non-provoking tone of voice; quietly, slowly, and calmly.
Listen to the other person carefully without interrupting them.
Respect the other person when voicing your own opinion or point of view.
Let the other person know that you understand them fully by asking questions pertaining to his or her
understanding and repeating what the person is saying.
Use humour if possible.
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Try placing yourself in the other person's shoes.
Try not to be judgmental. Do not do anything to embarrass the other person. Do not accuse the other person of anything. Also, do not punish or scold them.
Do not stand close to them. Stand a few feet away from them.
Make sure that your posture, body language, and tone of voice is non-threatening.
Do not talk with the other person in front of a group of people. Go into an office or some other place to discuss the situation. (Caution: Do not go into place that will prevent you from receiving help if you need it.)
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Make sure that what you say is simple, clear and direct.
Do not take anything the other person says personally when he or she is angry, because they probably do not mean it.
Make sure that you are not alone just in case the other person becomes very hostile.
If you are having a heated argument with another person, save your feelings and opinions for another time and place.
Do not rush.
Let the other person know that you do not want to fight, but that you want to resolve the situation in a friendly manner.
Make sure that you apologize for anything you may have said or done to offend them
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DEAR TEACHERS
Become aware of your communication style
Improve your Interpersonal competence
Reduced conflict in the workplace
Increase productivity!
Thank-You!
Avril Z Daley
Helen Stills Professional Development Day
Montego Bay
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I think it is the best definition of Interpersonal Skill as it covers all in a brief note:
"3-Factor Model of interpersonal competence
Inter-personally competent people:
are self aware. They use this awareness to better understand others and to adapt their behaviour accordingly.
build and nurture strong, lasting, mutually beneficial relationships.
resolve conflict in a positive manner. (Bilanich)"
Thanks Shibli sir.
Regards
Shamsi