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Career Development Centre (CDC) => Education => Articles and Write up => Topic started by: Naznin.Tania on November 03, 2013, 01:21:53 PM

Title: Importance of Interpersonal Skill
Post by: Naznin.Tania on November 03, 2013, 01:21:53 PM
Why Are Interpersonal Skills Important
By: G. A. Sylverston

Interpersonal skills are important in all aspects of a person's life. In relationships with classmates, coworkers, and even family and friends, interpersonal skills play a huge role in our lives and how our lives ultimately end up. Interpersonal skills are sometimes something that a person has always had. Maybe they have always been the charming one that was able to win over everyone. Some people have to work a little harder at interpersonal skills; they learn them and hone them. There is nothing wrong with having to practice these skills because, with practice, even a person who has to learn it can hold their own with the best of the ones who have always had it.

Interpersonal skills in the workplace:
Interpersonal skill in the workplace can have a more profound effect on a person's life than interpersonal skills in other areas. This is because the workplace is where you spend the majority of your time. These are the people you interact with day in and day out. These are the people that make decisions about your career; they have the power to give you a good rating on performance review, and they have the ability to serve as a reference in future employment and career endeavors. This is part of the reason why it is critical to hone those interpersonal skills. Interpersonal skills also create a much warmer workplace. If there are a large number of people who have good interpersonal skills that work as a team, this will be a team that works in harmony and gets the job done. People with interpersonal skills find a way to work together, even when irritations and setbacks are present. They find ways to deal with issues, solve problems, and overcome small and large obstacles alike. People who have these skills generally deal well with others and are adept at dealing with delicate situations like employee disciplining or diffusing an escalating situation between coworkers. These people have a great capacity to be leaders.

Practice, practice, practice
It is possible to practice interpersonal skills through exercises and various trainings and books. It is also possible to work on them through paying attention to how you react to situations and working to change those skills that do not serve you well in this capacity. Work to be more patient, to look past little things that annoy you with other people, and to observe a whole situation by seeing the large picture and responding in a way that is calm but which brings intelligence and grace to the table. According to Microsoft, it is possible to overdo it when using interpersonal skills, especially when you want to be liked by everyone.
Interpersonal skills are crucial to life and to getting along with each other. Practice these skills and you will never regret it.

Title: How to Develop Interpersonal Skills
Post by: Naznin.Tania on November 03, 2013, 01:29:56 PM
How to Develop Interpersonal Skills

Edited by Ronald G. Shapiro, Ph. D., Jmuddy95, Le_maryjane1, Naomi Lynn and 1 other

Strong interpersonal skills create more satisfying interactions in all environments. Developing people skills involves building strong relationships, demonstrating ethical behavior, communicating clearly and working effectively in teams. Here are some strategies for developing interpersonal skills.
1.   Identify interpersonal skills in need of development: Looking back on your life, there may have been times when a conflict led to a relationship breakup or a miscommunication led to the loss of an opportunity. Identifying these experiences assists in pinpointing interpersonal goals. You may decide to become a better listener, or practice expressing your feelings more clearly and truthfully.

2. Focus on building harmonious relationships: If your personal relationships are short-lived or work relationships are cold and distant, concentrate on the qualities necessary for healthy relationships.
o   Practice empathy: Putting yourself in the position of another person allows you to see things from a different perspective. When people feel understood, they tend to be less combative, leading to greater understanding and unity.
o   Be inclusive: At home, work, community gatherings or social events, practice helping people to feel included. Avoid behaviors that exclude others or make them feel like outsiders.
o   Practice fairness: If you tend to take more than you give in relationships, try to be more generous. As an example, if a friend or partner is always accompanying you to events that you enjoy, reciprocate by doing the same for them.
o   Be trustworthy: Relationships are more stable when 2 people trust each another. Keep commitments and confidences to increase trust.

3. Communicate clearly and carefully: Strong communication skills involve listening closely and expressing yourself clearly in person, over the phone and in written communications.
o   Listen carefully: Many conflicts arise from misunderstandings. Listening to others helps to clear up miscommunications. As people are talking, focus on their words, tone of voice and body language to glean the true message.
o   Speak clearly: In some cases, such as a business meeting, it may be necessary to speak concisely and get right to the point. In a conversation with a family member, communicating effectively may involve elaborating on feelings and providing examples. Each situation is different, but the ultimate goal is to use language that is clear, respectful and effective for getting your message across.
o   Practice good judgment in written communications: Humor doesn't always come across clearly in written communications and can sometimes lead to misunderstandings or hurt feelings. Additionally, without a tone of voice or a greater context, words in written communications can seem cold, particularly in regards to sensitive issues. Consider speaking in person about critical issues.

4. Examine personal ethics: People tend to trust those who are self-aware and who do not abuse their power. Practice integrity in your relationships by examining the impact of your behaviors and decisions on others.

5. Be a team player: When working with others, engage in a give and take that involves collaboration and compromise. Examine tendencies to dominate situations or criticize others. Praise others for work well done and be open to receiving praise.

6. Resolve conflicts: Conflict is a natural and inevitable part of life. Diversity of opinion, perspectives and ideas can be enriching. When opinions clash, try to understand people's viewpoints and avoid black and white thinking. In most cases, resolving conflicts involves an honest and respectful expression of feelings. In some cases, it may be necessary to let go of attachments to unimportant issues.

Title: 5 Important Interpersonal Skill
Post by: Naznin.Tania on November 03, 2013, 01:44:53 PM
Five important Interpersonal skills that help build self confidence...

There is a very strong link between your interpersonal skills (also called social skills and life skills) and self-confidence.

What are interpersonal skills?
Interpersonal skills are the skills and abilities that a person uses to build relationships, communicate and interact with other people on a social level, at work, in groups and one-to-one. Improving and building on your interpersonal skills will go a long way towards helping you develop a strong sense of self-confidence. They include things like:

Communication can happen over the phone, face to face, letters, via email and a bunch of different ways. The key to all of them is that information is passed from yourself to another person successfully because they fully understood your message.   When you learn how to communicate effectively you not only get your message across but you also get your voice heard. This in turn helps to build your self-confidence – especially if you believe people very rarely want to listen to what you have to say. Effective communication happens when you do your best to minimize potential barriers and misunderstandings that may occur. Of course sometimes you say or write something that someone takes the wrong way. They are upset and they want to let you know that. Your listening skills will be the key to avoiding an upset/argument and sorting out any miscommunication quickly.

Listening skills:
Not to be confused with hearing or waiting for your time to speak without really taking in what is being said! When you listen you are paying attention to what the person is actually saying (not thinking about what you want to say to them). You listen to how people say things, the language they are using as they speak and you watch for the non-verbal communication that is going on as they speak. Things like their posture, facial expressions, how close they are standing to you – will give you important clues about how they are feeling.
When you truly listen nothing else matters in that moment except what that person is communicating to you. This is not the time to try and interrupt or speak over them. Give them time to finish and avoid getting defensive. Developing your listening skills is a powerful key towards building self-confidence in yourself as long as once the person speaking has finished you are able to assertively speak yourself.
To be assertive means to be able to stand up for yourself and your rights. It is your ability to honestly and directly express your feelings and thoughts (even your desires) in a way that is appropriate. Being assertive gives you a great ability to express yourself clearly. You become more open with people and you find you become very insistent too without being over bearing or dominant.
For me assertiveness is about getting what you want without having to trample over or bully the other person to get it. It is a skill that you can learn over time and it is a valuable one because most confident people are also assertive. I remember the first time I had to be honest and direct with my mother. My heart was pounding out of my chest and I was so happy when I did it. Years later my mother actually told me how proud she was that people couldn’t take advantage of me anymore and that I now speak my mind. She knew it was a skill I never had in the past.  If you are interested in developing assertiveness skills <== read my eBook on the topic.
Being Positive:
Without a doubt this is one of the top interpersonal skills worth developing (along with being assertive). If you can simply get yourself into a position where you think and behave more positively and you are able to assertively express yourself you will find your self-confidence grows in leaps and bounds. The great news is it really doesn’t take much to become positive. You just have to make a choice then watch your thoughts, words and behavior.
Be alert for moments when you are not thinking or speaking in a positive manner and correct what you are saying and/or thinking. It may take you months of reprogramming your mindset but it is SO very worth it. People love positive people. Misery loves company too so you get to decide which you prefer to hang out with. Understanding that what you give out and who you are brings to you like minded people will hopefully help you to focus more on bringing in positive people by thinking more positively.
Don’t make the mistake of thinking you can hang out with positive people or marry someone positive in an effort to balance yourself out! Being positive is not something you can get from others – it is something you need to foster and develop in yourself

Reflect, re-assess, re-start and develop

A fundamental rule of living is that we are never done with our own personal development until we are dead! You can always learn no matter how old you are (great examples are 80 and 90 year old grandmas using Facebook!) and as long as you are willing to look at what went wrong you will always be able to build on your self-confidence. As you work towards developing your interpersonal skills things will go wrong. Maybe you will say something nasty when you didn’t want to, or you will spend a day feeling gloom and doom. This is all part of the process. The key to success is never letting it dominate your thoughts, feelings and behavior for too long. Like falling off the horse you need to get right back on your journey and continue working towards building your self confidence.
There are other interpersonal skills that you can develop like the ability to stay calm (which comes from learning to be assertive), the ability to clarify, empathize, and even negotiate.  Developing these skills within yourself will help you become a confident and calm person with great charisma that people will attract great people into your life.

“Charisma is a sparkle in people that money can’t buy. It’s an invisible energy with visible effects.”
- Marianne Williamson