Favourite Stories: One Night's Due [Messenger of Allah (saww) and Mother]

[Shamim Ansary]

Someone asked the Messenger of Allah (saww), "Who has the greater right over children, the mother or the father?"

The Messenger of Allah (saww) answered, "The mother's right is greater than the father's." He was asked three times, and each time the answer was the same. The fourth time, Messenger of Allah (saww) said, "The father's right is next."

"Why do you give the mother three rights to the father's one?"

The Messenger of Allah (saww) replied, "Your mother carried you for nine months in her womb, than gave you birth. After that she gave up her sleep for your sleep, suckled you, carried you in her arms, and cleaned you. For years she cooked for you, fed you, and served you food. She did your laundry. When you were forty, fifty, sixty, she still followed your progress with interest. Your father sowed you in your mother's womb, provided your food, and made sure you had clothes to wear. Can this be compared with your mother's role?"

And We have enjoined man in respect of his parents - his mother bears him with faintings upon faintings and his weaning takes two years - saying: Be grateful to Me and to both your parents; to Me is the eventual coming. And if they contend with you that you should associate with Me what you have no knowledge of, do not obey them, and keep company with them in this world kindly, and follow the way of him who turns to Me, then to Me is your return, then will I inform you of what you did. Noble Qur'an (31:14-15)

The questioner went on, "Well, I wonder if I could ever repay my mother for all the help and service, however much I might do for her?

The Messenger of Allah (saww) replied, "You could not repay so much as one night's due!"

"But suppose I carry my mother on my back for years, clean up after her, cook for her, and feed her. Suppose I attend to those same services as long as she may live?"

"There will still be this difference between you: your mother looked out for you to live, while you are waiting for her to die."

[Shamim Ansary]

At the time of the Messenger of Allah (saww), there was a young man named Alqamah. He was very diligent in obeying Allah by engaging in prayer and fasting and spending in charity. Then he fell ill and his illness became serious. His wife went to the Messenger of Allah (saww) and said, "My husband, Alqamah, is on his deathbed. I therefore came to tell you, Messenger of Allah (saww), about his condition."

The Messenger of Allah (saww) sent for Ammar ibn Yasir, Suhaib and Bilal ibn Rabah, and told them to go to him (Alqamah) and have him repeat the Shahadah. They went to him and found him in the agony of death. They asked him to say, "La illaha illa Allah," but his tongue was unable to pronounce it. At that, they came and told the Messenger of Allah (saww) that he was unable to repeat the Shahadah.

The Messenger of Allah (saww) asked, "Is either of his parents alive?"

He was told, "Messenger of Allah (saww), his mother is, but she is very old."

The Messenger of Allah (saww) sent her a message that if it was convenient for her (if she was able to go out), she should come to him; otherwise she should stay in her house and the Messenger of Allah (saww) would come to her.

The Messenger of Allah's (saww) messenger came to her and informed her of the Messenger of Allah's (saww) message. She said, "May my life be a ransom for him, it is my pleasure to go to him!"

She stood up, leaning on her walking stick, and came to the Messenger of Allah (saww) and greeted him. The Messenger of Allah (saww) returned her greeting and said to her, "Umm Alqamah, tell me the truth, for otherwise Allah Most High will reveal the truth to me! What is the situation concerning your son, Alqamah?"

She replied, "Messenger of Allah (saww), he prays much, fasts a great deal, and spends a great amount in charity."

The Messenger of Allah (saww) said, "And what about yourself?"

She said, "Messenger of Allah (saww), I am angry with him."

He said, "Why?"

She replied, "Messenger of Allah (saww), he has preferred his wife to me and has disobeyed me."

The Messenger of Allah (saww) said, "Umm Alqamah, surely your anger has prevented Alqamah's tongue from pronouncing the Shahadah."

The Messenger of Allah (saww) then turned to Bilal ibn Rabah and said, "Bilal, go out and collect a quantity of firewood."

She said, "Messenger of Allah (saww), what do you plan to do?" The Messenger of Allah (saww) replied, "I will burn him in front of your eyes."

She said, "Messenger of Allah (saww), he is my son! My heart cannot bear your burning him in front of me!"

The Messenger of Allah (saww) said, "Umm Alqamah, Allah's punishment is more severe and more lasting! Therefore, if you want Allah to forgive him, be reconciled to him. By the One in Whose Hand is my soul, the prayer, fasting, and spending in charity (which he has done) are of no benefit to Alqamah as long as you are angry with him!"

Thereupon she said, "Messenger of Allah (saww), I call upon Allah Most High and His angels and the Muslims who are present to be my witnesses that I am pleased with my son Alqamah."

The Messenger of Allah (saww) said, "Bilal, go to him and see whether he is now able to say, "La illaha illa Allah" or not. It may be that Umm Alqamah is saying something for my sake which is not in her heart."

Bilal ibn Rabah went, and while entering the door he heard Alqamah saying, "La illaha illa Allah."

Bilal ibn Rabah remarked, "It is surely true that while Alqamah's mother was angry with him his tongue was tied, and now that she is pleased with him his tongue is freed."

Alqamah died the same day. The Messenger of Allah (saww) came to him and gave the order for his washing and shrouding, and then prayed the funeral prayer for him and buried him. The Messenger of Allah (saww) then stood by the side of his grave and said, "You company of Muhajirun (Emigrants) and Ansar (Helpers), if anyone favors his wife over his mother, Allah and His angels and all the people curse him! Allah does not accept his spending (in charity) and his uprightness unless he repents toward Allah, the Glorious and Majestic, and reconciles with her and attains her pleasure, because Allah's pleasure consists in her pleasure and Allah's anger consists in her anger."

We must always be respectful and obedient to our parents. However, we are not to obey them if they order us to disobey Allah and His Messenger of Allah (saww). Other than this, they deserve our utmost attention and respect.

O our Lord! grant me protection and my parents and the believers on the day when the reckoning shall come to pass! Noble Qur'an (14:41)

[Shamim Ansary]

The Arabic word for womb is "rahem." Rahem is derived from the word for mercy. In Islamic tradition, one of Allah's 99 beautiful names (Asmaul Husna) is "Al-Raheem," or "the Most Merciful."

There exists, therefore, a unique connection between God and the womb. Through the womb, we get a glimpse of the Almighty's qualities and attributes. It nurtures, feeds and shelters us in the early stages of life. The womb can be viewed as one manifestation of divinity in the world.

Each of us should appreciate what we have in our mothers. They are our teachers and our role models. Every day with them is an opportunity to grow as a person. Every day away from them is a missed opportunity.

In other words, the debt we owe to our mothers is magnified due to the difficult nature of pregnancy - not to mention the nurturing and attention paid to us in infancy.

[Shamim Ansary]