A good woman

[shibli]

A good woman inspires a man, a brilliant woman interests him, a beautiful woman fascinates him but a sympathetic woman gets him. Do you agree with this view ?

 

The question deals with women of different accomplishments and how man reacts towards them. The qualities of woman categorized here are goodness, brilliance, beauty and sympathy. Apposite to them are put inspiration, interest, fascination and getting or winning respectively. To know women of these traits, one must have a wider experience which is rather difficult but the lapse could be made up by a knowledge of history and literature of the world. On the world stage, there had been and there are still women of different accomplishments and here and there mention will be made of them.

In general the question deals with man's relation with women but for a single man to have contact or relation with the different women mentioned here, the chances may be rare unless he is a great figure who has a galaxy of women hovering around him. To inspire is to give life, to fill life with hope, to pull up the crestfallen one from despondency to optimism. When we take in air we say we inspire because we are taking in the life giving, blood purifying oxygen. So the action or the words of woman may be inspiring. The one may be the wife or a good friend or as sometimes happens a mistress. To inspire, such persons must basically be good. Their words and actions must have a soothing effect on the soul and result in goodness to the recipient. Quite recently and during our times we have heard of Florence Nightingale or the Lady of the Lamp and Mother Theresa. They have given their love instinctively for the sick and ailing; how their work has inspired many to follow their footpath. A husband or a son must be really blessed indeed to have a good woman as the wife or mother; for the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.

To interest one is to make one think of the benefits that may accrue. One may be interested in a proposition because it may bring one some benefits. The benefits need not necessarily be material; it may even be mental, say a speech. Brilliance relates to the dazzle in appearance, speech and manners. The brilliance in appearance may incite jealousy, the brilliance in wit and humor attracts and interests. It was said of late Sarojini Naidu that her conversation was full of wit and humor and so she shone among her friends like a brilliant star in the firmament. So people were interested to hear what she would say in general and in particular.

To fascinate is to attract. The fascination may be real or false, the fascination may be for good or bad. The fascination of the moth for fire is a classical example where it is attracted by the light of the fire only to die. The beauty refers, may be, only to the external, a woman may be beautiful to look at and as an opposite sex, man is fascinated by her but if the inner woman is not as beautiful as the outer then the man having to do anything with her will be ruined beyond measure. There are stories of beautiful women who have fascinated men only to destroy them. That is why beautiful women are used as spies. In World War I, Mata Hari was used as a spy to destroy the morale of army men in the allied ranks. While it is true a beautiful woman fascinates there are stories in which the beauty of a woman was responsible for the destruction of a country or an empire. For example, the beauty of Helen was responsible for the fall of Troy and in the Ramayana the fall of Ravana was caused by the beauty of Sita.

To get is to own. To own means also the power to command over. When I own a horse I can ride at my will and pleasure; What I own I can easily dispose of but it is beside the point here because the question deals with the sympathy. Sympathy is to have the same feeling for. When one sympathizes with another, it means the latter has the same feeling as the former, that is why we often say 'in sympathy with you'. In sympathy we see the identical views. When a woman has the sympathy she can naturally get the other. In fact the getting may be in different degrees. Some explanations will make this point clear.

Take for instance the sympathy of a nurse for a baby or a patient. In both cases the getting may not be exactly by owning but it is getting a permanent place in the heart of a baby or the patient. The sympathy shown by the mother, helps her get the child. Where children are brought up by others, the sympathy of children for their mothers is very thin indeed. A good wife must have the sympathy for her husband to get him. A classical woman is described that way. She is everything for her husband. She is the wife, the cook, the counselor and the friend. Where she fails to have sympathy for her husband, he looks elsewhere. Kasturbai Gandhi was such a good and sympathetic woman she was able to rule Gandhiji. But to see a woman of all these qualities is rare and such a one is a rare phenomenon.
          
despondency         unhappy and with no hope or enthusiasm because you feel you are in a difficult situation
          
soothing         to make something less painful
          
incite         to encourage someone to do or feel something unpleasant or violent
          

[shibli]

Many a man would reach a greater height if he had more depth. Discuss the view

To understand the meaning of height and depth we have to study them separately. Let us take the question of depth first and see what it consists of. The depth here refers to the depth in faculties. Physical faculties are just as desirable as mental faculties. Mental faculties consist of intelligence and intellectual abilities. While these faculties are naturally found in some, they can be nurtured in many.

In the nurturing process of man, education plays an important part. Education is exactly drawing the best out of one. Good education provides opportunities for developing one's intellectual faculties. The more one learns from his teachers and books the more one becomes intellectual. The quick grasp, the ability to digest and the capacity to integrate the new with the old, are the intellectual faculties. Newton saw the apple falling just like anybody would have done but his enquiring mind did not stop there. In this he could find and answer why the planets and other orbs are kept in position and so he gave the law of gravitation. Fleming saw a mould in the culture solution which was inhibitive to the growth of microbes. This led to the discovery of Penicillin which revolutionized the whole thinking in medicine and became the forerunner of many antibiotics. With the growth of an enquiring faculty, depth in knowledge grows.

Knowledge must be applied and that is intelligence. This faculty is inborn but surely it can be developed. Without intelligence mere intellect would be like a body without life. One should learn from examples and to act intelligently. It requires quick perception and decision. Only those who could decide and act can become leaders. If such decision is for the good of many, then such leaders become great indeed. Great decisions have changed the course of history. Washington, Lincoln, Gandhi and others had made historic decisions which have made them near and dear in their countries.

Knowledge of men, material and manners, knowledge of the working of mind and knowledge of how one would react under certain circumstances, are some areas where one must have competency to become great. We may add the depth of understanding. This makes one human. With understanding one can avoid conflicts and one is able to resolve difficulties. This human element is very often found in great people.

Now we shall discuss what is height. The height here however does not refer to physical height. It is the height of glory, fame and name that is meant here. The way to such eminence is not paved with soft, well ordered stones. The path is hard and one will have to work to reach that height. If one has the many faculties mentioned above and applies them in the right place at the right moment, one can reach the height. Some having the depth do not reach the height because they fail to take the tide. There is a tide in the affairs of men which taken at its height will take him to eminence; failing which he will be lolling in the trough of despondency. Dash and drive are needed to reach the height.

So with proper development of one's intelligence and intellectual faculties one could hope to reach great heights.
          
enquiring         always wanting to learn new things
          
eminence         the state of being famous, respected or important
          
despondency         unhappy and with no hope or enthusiasm because you feel you are in a difficult situation
          

[shibli]

"The way to get along is to go along' ( John F. Kennedy ). What does this statement mean ?

To get along is to accommodate with others. To go along is to proceed with the task on hand. To proceed confidently and to reach the goal, it requires certain qualifications and make up. They are not only physical but also neutral and emotional. It refers to the mental and social aspect. To go along implies a company or companion. It may be for then individual, a group, a country or countries at large. No man is an island. So far as man is a part of a society he has to live in it which means he must be able to get along with others. This requires a mental set up such that getting along may not be a problem.

What is the mental set up ? One must recognize there is place for everybody under the sun. Theoretically at least that is the fact. Circumstances may change but still everybody expects to live and make the best of one's life. He needs food, clothing and shelter. He may need some more comforts. In trying to acquire them or secure them there is the clash coming. Because all are not endowed with the same faculties and capacities and there is always a perennial clash. To avoid such a clash one must know how to give and take.

Viewed closely this is a matter of environment, upbringing and education. All these play a vital role. Children must be taught how to live with others; how they should not be selfish, how they should be able to share what they have with others; and how they must have their emotions under control. In this the parents and the school play a vital role. Of course, other movements like the Scouting for boys and Guiding for girls go a long way to help them in getting along. As the saying goes "Charity begins at home", once the children have learned quite early in life in their homes, there may be no problems. When they grow old they will practice it in their lives, whether it be in the mart or the senate.

To go along is not only true of individuals but also of States. The world as it is today is a package of different countries with different strengths, economically and politically. But all these countries must get along if the world has to avoid another catastrophe which cannot be imagined what with all the military hardware piled up these days.

Countries must learn to be good neighbors. Look at what is , happening is West Asia. Israel and the Arab countries are at each other's throat. It is a dangerous situation which may explode at any moment. The creation of Israel after the Second World War was perhaps a great casualty. But the Arabs must know how to put up with that. Thy must have the historical perspective. The claim of the Jews to their ancient land cannot be overlooked. The best thing should be an understanding and adjustment on both sides.

This is true of countries of different ideologies. With the rapid growth of science and technology, the world is moving towards the concept of one world. No country can sit in an ivory tower and close it eyes to what is happening elsewhere. Natural calamities in one area will have their repercussions in another area. If there is draught and famine in one country, another country which enjoys favorable conditions must come forward to help the other nation. Otherwise complications will set in which will have a chain reaction. Now than at any time, no country can live in isolation.

Political divisions must be forgotten for the world to prosper. So to get along is to go along, whether it be in the family, or within a nation or among the nations of the world. This is the type of things great men like Welland Wilkie, Bertrand Russell, Jawaharlal Nehru, Poet Tagore and perhaps Kennedy were dreaming of.
          
at large         generally
          
perennial         happening repeatedly, all the time
          
at each others throat         arguing or fighting

[shibli]

Voltaire said. "All men are equal; it is not birth but virtue alone, that makes the difference". Do you agree ?

The statement is clear and easy to see as the palm of one's hand unless one is stone blind. Before arriving at a conclusion let us examine the statement in greater detail and depth.

All men are equal in what ? They are all equal as an organism. From the way they are conceived until death, in the physical form and growth, the man follows the same time table. Differences there are; but they are only quantitative, for instance one may be taller than the other, the second weigh more; the third may eat more. But basically there is no difference for they eat alike, breathe alike and the functions of the body are alike. His faculties are almost alike; given the chance and training all can use his or her hands and feet to the same advantage. What a white man can do, a colored man can do with equal grace. In creativity man has shown the same aptitude in all climes and countries. So, as a creature, men are all equal.

But birth makes a difference in this world. We find the rich and the poor, we find the forward and the less developed. This difference is being brought about more by circumstances rather than by the physical act of birth. The same child will behave differently in different places according to how and under what influence it has been brought up. Two children of the same parent will grow and behave differently if they are separated from birth and are brought up in different environments. The differences brought about thus are sociological. Children brought up in an ideal classless society may not feel the difference created by birth or circumstances. Color of the skin or hair may be looked upon as something useful for identity as birth marks.

Differences created by birth have always led to conflicts. The high and low, the haves and have-nots are some such differences we see today in our society. The law of inheritance, the law of property and the ownership rights all create problems. In a world where man is free to think and act, these differences are explosive in nature and are at the bottom of social upheavals. History is replete with such instances. The so called civilization is nothing but the tidal waves caused by such upheavals on the sea of humanity. Anyway there is no meaning in differences caused by birth.

But there are real areas of difference among men. Sociologically we may try to put all men under the same roller and flatten them all out of shape. We may give them equality in every aspect of life; there may be no rich or poor; there may be no classes, the owners or the owned. All men share the fruits of their labor equally. This society is possible theoretically.

But there is an area where differences do exist and in the long run they count. This is what Voltaire calls virtue. Virtue, briefly means, the good qualities of head and heart. It is a strange phenomenon of nature that these qualities do not develop in the same way on all. Even in the same family the traits do not run the same way. One is noted for virtue while the other is far from it. Even in twins the differences persist.

How are these differences brought about ? Still we are probing to find the answer. Nature and nurture have been found to play a prominent role in the formation of these virtues. Nurture much more than nature has a great part to play in developing the virtues. Chance and circumstances go a long way in developing the virtues. Uproot a child from its bad surroundings and transplant it in an area where it will come across virtuous men and their deeds, then it is quite possible the child acquires all virtues. The exception is also possible but the exception only proves the rule.

Circumstances develop the virtue in men as could be seen in the great lives of the Buddha. Jesus Christ, Emperor Asoka, Emperor Akbar and so on. In the great story of Les Meiserables by Hugo we find how the virtue of a man can be completely reformed by fortuitous circumstances.

Only the differences of virtue will sustain. The other differences of birth, caste or creed will be forgotten because only the men aryl women of virtue stand apart like stars in the firmament guiding the fate of men and nations. They are like the beacon of light in the surrounding gloom; their lives, their words and deeds bring solace to millions. They shape the course of a people and they alone in the right sense make history. History is not the battles won or the treaties made but it is the battle between vice and virtue and good and bad, where virtue ultimately wins. The cross has a greater meaning than the Taj Mahal. At all times and in all climes virtues have led people from destruction to salvation. So it is not birth of men but it is the virtue that makes the real difference.
          
the haves and have-nots         the people who are not poor and the people who are poor
          
fortuitous         not planned, happening by chance
          
climes         a place where the weather is different in a particular way
          

[shibli]

"S/He alone can command who knows how to obey". How do you explain this maxim

The success of a society depends on the coordination between the various components which make up that society. This involves some command from some which has to be carried by some or many. As the saying goes no man is an island, nor is everyone having the same talent in the same way. It is nature's order while a few could think and plan while others must execute. Then can society be stable and function for long.

It is a question of leadership. There are very few leaders but most of them are developed. Accidents find them in positions where they could develop into leaders. But in those positions they should learn from others until in their own day they could bloom into leaders.

Great men of industry, great doctors and great lawyers have come up the hard way. Usually they are all apprenticed to a big one from whom they learn the art of their respective trade. They may have the basic knowledge and they may know all the fundamentals but these do not make them leaders. They have to work under a senior and gradually they evolve.

This apprenticeship calls for humility, hard work, sustained interest and above all obedience. Obedience is to obey. So the apprentice has to obey his master. Juniors under as lawyer plod long hours so that they can master the intricacies of law. Young doctors have to sweat and labor in an operation theatre such that they may become successful surgeons later. Great soldiers learn the first lesson of obedience as soon as they wear the uniforms and for them obedience is the first and the last word. There is no profession like that, of a soldier where unquestioned and unstinted obedience is called for. The great generals then and now ought to have learnt the value of obedience the harder way. Leadership needs discipline and dedication.

These people know the value of obedience. They know how thing may go wrong if obedience is lacking. It was said of a business magnate that he insisted on all those who worked under him to be punctual. If anyone was late he used to fine them. If he himself was not punctual he would pay the fine from his pocket and thus he was able to set an example.

There is a great story of a King. Once he was on his rounds in the night in disguise to see that miscreants were not on the prowl. He heard a man and woman talking in a house. He had prior information that the man of the house was away and that the fidelity of the woman was questionable. He knocked at the door of the house and to his surprise he saw the man of the house there. Apologizing, the King returned to his palace. The next morning the man came to the King and complained that a man came and knocked at his door the previous night and requested the King to punish the offender. The punishment, according to the law of the land was to cut off the hand of the culprit. The story goes to say that the king cut off his hand immediately. That shows even a king must obey.

It is clear from the above that those who would command must know how to obey before they can expect others to obey.
          
plod         to work slowly and continuously, but without imagination, enthusiasm or interest
          
miscreant         someone who behaves badly or does not obey rules
          
on the prowl         to be moving around quietly in a place trying not to be seen or heard

[Nushrat Nahida Afroz]

sibli sir

nice realization.keep it up.

who inspire you to be a hero member of forum?

[shibli]

Right now you have inspired me.  Thank you, madam for your inspiration. It's you, the readers for whom i write.

Best regards

[shibli]

To be in love with commitment

Yamin Tauseef Jahangir

COMMITMENT is a word that emphasises different meaning when you put it in different boxes. It can be in a box full of emotions, it can be in a box which revolves around your professional life, or you can just even place it in the box which you claim to be for friendship. But 'commitment' itself has become our worst enemy ever since we have learnt and mastered the art of being a hypocrite and declared war against our beloved conscience. Commitment for us is like a disease, it crawls up in your skin, it itches in your veins, and sets off an allergy. We are never satisfied when we are committed to something and it always has to be a choice of doing the wrong, which in other words we say 'an alternative.'

If we talk about a new employee you are bound to see the radiating energy, the beaming smile, even at times the blonde smile, the extra hours of paperwork, all in all you will see a perfectionist. Now as days go by the efforts start decreasing. If you ask why, there's a very simple answer- we give up. Is it because of the fact that things are monotonous? Is it because your work never gets rewarded with a pat on your back? Or is it for you just realised you're too cool for the job? You may have ample of reasons to justify yourself, but it really doesn't matter if you cannot deliver your hundred percent in the real world. Most of us lack the sense of exercising our brain and show maturity when responsibility and commitment are the crucial factors involved in a workplace. You will not be surprised to see people spending a considerable amount of time on social networking sites like the Facebook and clicking on to some weird games, while the clock keeps on ticking and deadline is not very far away. Some has got the habit of skipping office just like bunking lectures, while others have got a habit of skipping hours. There are also others who have a tendency to keep things undone. Now imagine these characters even dreaming of getting a raise! In this country the concept of earning a living is pretty stereotype. A student only dream of a good job, a designation, a hefty salary and the list goes on. But when you ask how committed he is to achieve his goals, you only get to hear vague answers.

Nowadays even relationship has become a fragile thing to hold on to. Promises, which were made in earnest at one time, are now easily broken on petty issues. Commitments have less importance and there are more break up cases. You will hear different explanations to such incidents and the most popular one is both the genders got bored of each other! It is still good to see few love doves who share a common ground of commitment, while for others many people have been a complete deceiver in showing the slightest bit affection.

Commitments only make you have an inner drive. If you limit yourself within your mind then you do not feel the necessity to explore your potentials. Eventually what happens is that, you are less committed towards your duties and always looking for an excuse to walk away from responsibilities. Your commitments towards your professional and personal life should always remain in equilibrium and only then you will be more content with your surrounding. Failures are bound to happen but that does not mean you loose hope to reach the other side. All you have to do is be headstrong and be diligent at your work.

[bidita]

Dear Sir
I agree with your speeches, opinion and your point of view...


Thanks for sharing all this

[bcdas]

Dear Shibli Sir,

Thanks for your writing, I agree with your thinking...........about woman.


keep it ahead 

[shibli]

Woman in the workplace

 I think, woman should work out side the home because they cannot involve in their household work. In fact the contribution of woman in very sphere cannot be denied. The contribution of women to the society is overstated. Women’s rights are human rights.

            Once upon a time, women were looked down upon. It was thought that women are born to look after children, for cooking food and for doing household works. Women were not allowed to go to school or colleges. But with the progression of science people views are also changed. They are now able to realize that women can also take part in development. They have proved their ability. Sometimes they do batter then men. More over it is seen that they are more sincere than man.


The most successful union at the turn of the twentieth century was the AFL. Unfortunately for women workers, Samuel Gompers, its first president, shared society's belief that a woman's place was in the home. It was the union's stand that "it is wrong to permit any of the female sex of our country to be forced to work, as we believe that men should be provided with a fair wage in order to keep his female relatives from going to work." If women engaged in paid work, it was felt, respect for them would diminish and they would "bring forth weak children who are not educated to become strong and good citizens."

Written by one of my students

[Shamim Ansary]

May the student be introduced to us by the Forum?

[shamsi]

Yes,Shamim,we would like to know about the student through forum.And we must appreciate that student's observation.

Regards

Shamsi

[shibli]

That was an assignment written by one of my previous students. I am motivating my students to use forum. But most of them don't have internet access. So, we should inspire them to stay connected online. Otherwise, we will be lagging behind.

[murshida]

good