Faculty of Humanities and Social Science > English

A Blank Page (a poem)

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Shah - Al - Mamun:

--- Quote from: cmkhasan on October 23, 2010, 12:43:54 AM ---A blank page


What are you expected for
And what do you get
History of war, or a letter of love
Are you satisfied my blank sheet

What colours you do favour
What matters you do fond
A doctor can express the treatment of a patient
A grocer can keep his account
A sentence of death can be written

You can carry the news from unseen
You can bear the loving poem of a poet
You can be a certificate of one’s existence


A deed of peace may be arranged in you
Childish lines after lines in you may convey nothing
By having all the possibilities may be you remained blank
What do you desire, what do you prayer?


--- End quote ---
Hello kamrul! Its good to see that you keep writing so many beautiful poems and share it with all of us here in our forum. "A Blank Page" is a nice poem too which conveys a lot of meanings. Our teachers and other members of this forum have commented on it rightly as it is indeed a praise worthy work from you. However I would like to be a bit critical too like Umme Kulsum madam. Please check the edited version bellow:

What do you expect for
And what do you get?
History of war, or a letter of love?
Are you satisfied my blank sheet?

What colours you do favour?
What matters you do fond?
A doctor can express the treatment of a patient,
A grocer can keep his account,
A sentence of death can be written.

You can carry the news from unseen,
You can bear the loving poem of a poet,
You can be a certificate of one’s existence.


A deed of peace may be arranged in you,
Childish lines after lines in you may convey nothing.
Even with all the possibilities,  you may remain blank.
What do you desire, what do you pray?

This edited version is only my personal opinion...you might have intentionally wrote the poem like you presented here to make it more rhythmic. So please do not mind if you do not like what i suggested. I am not a good poet like you so there is a good possibility that my edition is wrong :P.

Keep writing..

Regards,
Shah - Al - Mamun

cmkhasan:
Dear Umme Kulsum Madam and Shah Al Mamun Brother

Thanks. As i am facing the Teacher Enlistment exam 11 of this month, I will reply you soon.

Shah - Al - Mamun:

--- Quote from: cmkhasan on December 09, 2010, 04:15:55 PM ---Dear Umme Kulsum Madam and Shah Al Mamun Brother

Thanks. As i am facing the Teacher Enlistment exam 11 of this month, I will reply you soon.

--- End quote ---

Good luck for the exam.

Shah - Al - Mamun

cmkhasan:
Dear Umme Kulsum Madam,


--- Quote from: kulsum on December 07, 2010, 10:36:32 AM ---Dear Kamrul,

The very first stanza...ends with a question but missing a punctuation(?)

The whole Second stanza is without any punctuation and i think it matters more in poetry!

And the last line, is it correct" what do you prayer?"?


--- End quote ---

I have tried to write expressions, probably i emphasis more on semantic than to make sentences. You may observe I have used a few of punctuations. Firstly, in the first stanza, i have used a comma to separate expression to expression. Then there are no punctuation till last line of the poem. A comma, a long pause, and a question mark are the three more punctuations i have put there. Again, comma for the separation, questin mark for achieving emphasis. I really appreciate your such observation, I put "..." amid "What do you ... prayer?"

Once again Thank you mam. I think yr = your.

Dear Shah Al Mamun Brother,

Nice effort indeed....
I tried to omit punctuation deliberately, bro.
Thanks for joining me here.

kulsum:
good luck to you boy!!

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