inter-personal skill

[shibli]

Dealing with interpersonal relationships is a complex subject. The interpersonal relationships between students and teachers, teachers and other teachers, teachers and administrators, staff personnel, and parents are vital for creating a positive successful learning environment for all students.

Research indicates skills essential for effective interpersonal relationship are:

communicating and relating effectively,

empathy and respect for the feelings and views of others,

accurate self-evaluation of performance and relationships, and

conflict management using active listening skills and empathy.

[shibli]

Six success elements in Relationships

It takes a combination of

Self-awareness,

Self confidence,

Positive personal impact,

Outstanding performance,

Communication skills and

Interpersonal competence to succeed in your career and life.

[shibli]

Becoming self-aware is the first step to improving our interpersonal effectiveness.

Most of our behaviours are natural for us.

We aren't aware of the impact these behaviours have on others. That leaves us with "blind spots" that
others don't want to mention to us because they don't want to hurt our feelings, they are afraid of a reaction from us, or they just don't care.

Through self-awareness we learn what impact our behaviours - both positive and negative - have on others.  That knowledge helps us become more effective in our interactions with others.

[shibli]

Once we become self-aware we can examine and change behaviours that need changing. The option is our own. So are the consequences. When we choose to seek ways to modify our undesirable behaviours we begin the process of self-regulation. This is a conscious process through which we may ask for input from our family, trusted coworkers or friends, or a professional therapist.  

[shibli]

Interpersonal communication can mean the ability to relate to people in written as well as verbal communication.  This type of communication can occur in both a one-on-one and a group setting.  This also means being able to handle different people in different situations, and making people feel at ease. 

[shibli]

GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS INVOLVE

active listening,
giving and receiving criticism,
dealing with different personality types, and
nonverbal communication.

[shibli]

3-Factor Model of interpersonal competence

Inter-personally competent people:
are self aware. They use this awareness to better understand others and to adapt their behaviour accordingly.
build and nurture strong, lasting, mutually beneficial relationships.
resolve conflict in a positive manner. (Bilanich)

[shibli]

Interpersonal skill is a set of behaviours which allow you to communicate effectively and unambiguously in a face-to- face setting.
 
They can also be thought of as behaviours which assist progress towards achieving an objective.

Interpersonal relationship skills help us to relate in positive ways with our family members, colleagues and others. This may mean being able to make and keep friendly relationships as well as being able to end relationships constructively

[shibli]

There are just six interpersonal skills which form a process that is applicable to all situations:

Analyzing the situation

Establishing a realistic objective

Selecting appropriate ways of behaving

Controlling your behaviour

Shaping other people's behaviour

Monitoring our own and others' behaviour

[shibli]

We define types of interpersonal relationships in terms of relational contexts of interaction and the types of expectations that communicators have of one another to participate in positive, caring, and respectful relationships.

[shibli]

Analyzing the situation helps us to set realistic objectives

Establishing objectives, in turn, provides the context in which to make choices about how best to behave

By being conscious of our own behaviour in working towards the achievement of objectives we are more likely to influence other people’s behaviour

Constant monitoring will provide the feedback we need to make situation-dependent adjustments

[shibli]

Most people want to be understood and accepted more than anything else in the world.
Knowing this is the first step toward good communication. Good communication has two basic components:

You listen to and acknowledge other people's thoughts and feelings: Rather than showing that you only care about broadcasting your feelings and insisting that others agree with you, you encourage others to express what they are thinking and feeling. You listen and try to understand.

You express your own thoughts and feelings openly and directly: If you only listen to what other people are thinking or feeling and you don't express your own thoughts or feelings, you end up feeling shortchanged or "dumped on."

[shibli]

There are four styles of communication:
passive

aggressive

passive-aggressive

assertive

Passive communication involves the inability or unwillingness to express thoughts and feelings. Passive people will do something they don't want to do or make up an excuse rather than say how they feel.
The aggressive style of communication involves overreaction, blaming and criticizing. Aggressive people try to get their way through bullying, intimidating or even physical violence. They do not or will not consider the rights of others.

[shibli]

Passive-aggressive is a combination of the first two styles - they avoid confrontations (passive), but will be manipulative to get what they want (aggressive). Passive-aggressive people will sometimes use facial expressions that don't match how they feel, i.e. smiling when angry.


Assertive behaviour involves standing up for oneself. Assertive people will say what they think and stand up for their beliefs without hurting others.

[shibli]

Assertiveness, or confrontation, means taking the initiative or first steps to deal with a problem in a constructive, self-protective manner. Assertiveness attacks the problem, not the person.

Aggressiveness attacks the other person rather than the problem. It is a destructive desire to dominate another person or to force a position or viewpoint on another person; it starts fights or quarrels.