During my practice into criminal cases, I have handled several alimony, divorce cases and dowry death matters. What I observed is that many women choose to silently suffer through the domestic violence. In the dowry death cases, I have seen the opponent lawyer asking a question in their cross examination of victim's family member "If your daughter/sister was harassed and assaulted these many years, why did not she lodge a criminal complaint against the culprits". There is no answer to prove this. Was that fault of the woman who silently suffered and succumbed to the domestic violence? Does her silence give a right to her in laws to assault her again and again?
Having tolerance for everything is God given trait to women. And the extra tolerance is taught by her family during the upbringing. The first assault done by anyone damages her dignity and her confidence to live life with same spirit. Whenever any man assaults a woman in the family, it creates negative impact on entire family and the upbringing of children. The children grow up in the trauma which may cause mental disorders in their behavior. Just to reveal the intensity of domestic violence I would like to quote a real time example. A well educated woman and her kids get assaulted by her drunkard husband regularly. The kids grow up under extreme panic. The daughter of that family discloses the fact of regular assaults to her boy friend. No wonder, on one fine day he assaults her repetitively over a petty argument. The girl does not lodge any kind of complaint and just lets it go. The girl did not find anything wrong in the assaults made on her as she has already experienced this at home. This is the impact of domestic violence on women. Another incident out of the series of assaults from same man, the son follows the footprints of his father and assaults his wife one day out of an issue. Tell me how the mother of that son would be feeling when she sees her son following the footsteps of his father. These repetitive incidents of violence reminds her of her own story. There is no end to her suffering.
A woman tolerates all the assaults just to save her relation, family and kids. She gets paid in the form of violence for her care, love and support to the family. A woman can at any time take recourse of law and scatter her family into pieces. She chooses family over her self respect and keeps suffering from inside without complaining to anybody. We see men assaulting women but have we seen a woman assaulting her husband. I do not say that there is 0% of assaults by women. But those are rarest of rare scenarios at least in India. People enjoy the view of a woman getting assaulted but if a woman tries to assault a man, the society can not take it at all.
In India, the women can opt for legal remedy under The Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act 2005. This act gives protection to the victim against the future violence. Under this Act, the Court may grant any of the following reliefs such as: monetary relief, appoint of protection officers, protection order, Shared household, residence orders and custody orders and medical reliefs in case of any injuries.
I wonder how many women are coming out of the shell and approaching to the court in case of domestic violence. Only the person who goes through the pain can understand what it feels like to be a victim.
I urge to all the readers of this article to spread a word on this issue and to help in ending the violence on the sisters/daughters/wives/girl friends/female counterparts. Only RESPECT is the thing a woman always wish for.
Let us pledge to eradicate the violence against women and make a better living for them.
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Advocate. Nilambara Chavan
Featured in: India, Professional Women, Social Impact
