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inter-personal skill

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shibli:
Analyzing the situation helps us to set realistic objectives

Establishing objectives, in turn, provides the context in which to make choices about how best to behave

By being conscious of our own behaviour in working towards the achievement of objectives we are more likely to influence other people’s behaviour

Constant monitoring will provide the feedback we need to make situation-dependent adjustments

shibli:
Most people want to be understood and accepted more than anything else in the world.
Knowing this is the first step toward good communication. Good communication has two basic components:

You listen to and acknowledge other people's thoughts and feelings: Rather than showing that you only care about broadcasting your feelings and insisting that others agree with you, you encourage others to express what they are thinking and feeling. You listen and try to understand.

You express your own thoughts and feelings openly and directly: If you only listen to what other people are thinking or feeling and you don't express your own thoughts or feelings, you end up feeling shortchanged or "dumped on."

shibli:
There are four styles of communication:
passive

aggressive

passive-aggressive

assertive

Passive communication involves the inability or unwillingness to express thoughts and feelings. Passive people will do something they don't want to do or make up an excuse rather than say how they feel.
The aggressive style of communication involves overreaction, blaming and criticizing. Aggressive people try to get their way through bullying, intimidating or even physical violence. They do not or will not consider the rights of others.

shibli:
Passive-aggressive is a combination of the first two styles - they avoid confrontations (passive), but will be manipulative to get what they want (aggressive). Passive-aggressive people will sometimes use facial expressions that don't match how they feel, i.e. smiling when angry.


Assertive behaviour involves standing up for oneself. Assertive people will say what they think and stand up for their beliefs without hurting others.

shibli:
Assertiveness, or confrontation, means taking the initiative or first steps to deal with a problem in a constructive, self-protective manner. Assertiveness attacks the problem, not the person.

Aggressiveness attacks the other person rather than the problem. It is a destructive desire to dominate another person or to force a position or viewpoint on another person; it starts fights or quarrels.

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